The Stroups' Growing Family

All Things Girlish

2012-02-04T22:39:00.000-08:00

We had a great time celebrating Rebecca's 13th birthday.

We started the fun with picking up some lunch and heading to the fountains to eat.

Then we went to the mall to get Rebecca's ears pierced. She was sooo nervous!

But she survived. It wasn't that bad!

She had several friends over for a very, very elegant birthday party.

They all worked together and make this beautiful picture wreath for her.

Each of them decorated a picture of themselves and attached it to the wreath. It is a beautiful keepsake.

They had a delicious dinner of chicken nuggets with four sauces to choose from and caesar salad, followed by cheese fondue.

She received many pairs of earrings as gifts.

While they ate dinner and did their nails, they watched every episode of Anne of Green Gables. The house was full of laughter and giggles at the antics of Anne.

We made Apricot Parfait for dessert. I didn't realize it at first, but everything in this dish was home made, even the apricot preserves.

The girls put mourning flowers on the tv when Matthew Cuthbert died.

I experimented on the girls' hair by making sock buns. The goal was to have beautifully curly locks in the morning. It was interesting to see the different results.

They had a wonderful time making memories.

Hands in the Air

2012-01-29T14:19:00.000-08:00

A friend's recent miscarriage made me start thinking of the time we lost our first baby. On a Saturday night, just a day or two after losing the baby I was in such grief. Matthew was sleeping peacefully next to me. I remember being angry that he could sleep so well having just lost our child. I was in torment for hours and finally took myself out to the family room, where I wrestled with God for some time. I cried and raged and cried some more. Sometimes the crying would ease up, until a fresh wave of grief hit me and the tears started again. I was so angry that He would take our first child from us. As I continued in this state, the song "Hands in the Air" by The Waiting came on our CD player.

When I heard that song, I knew that I had to stop fighting Him. I had to surrender my will, my dreams and hopes. I had to die to them. I had to submit. Fresh tears began, but these were tears of healing and release, not anger and self-pity. When the tears stopped, my heart was at peace. I was able to sleep and have never struggled with anger over that loss again. Grief, yes. But not anger.

That was almost fourteen years ago. The date I lost the baby was around February 11, 1998. In May of 1998, we became pregnant again with our oldest living daughter. She will be 13 in one week. She is such a blessing and joy in my life. I often wonder if the Lord allowed the first baby, which was not planned, to be conceived to prepare our hearts for parenthood so that Rebecca would be born. You see, at the time of our first pregnancy, we were using birth control. Our first pregnancy was an "accident". But by the time we lost that one, we had become excited about being parents and were eager to be pregnant again. That is why we got pregnant with Rebecca.

But for whatever reason we lost that baby, I know it taught me an important lesson in submission to the Lord in every circumstance. Furthermore, as I have grown to know Him better, I have become convinced that He is good and I can trust Him in the midst of every storm.

He Has Done Great Things!

2012-01-08T00:19:00.000-08:00

I heard someone say that they are happy to leave 2011 behind. It's not because it was a bad year for them. They just felt like they were in a holding pattern, neither going backward or forward. As I pondered that, I realized that 2011 for me was a monumental, life-changing year! So I thought I would make a list of the things that happened this year and see how long it gets.

1. I got really tired of wanting to be a godly wife, but not knowing the right way to do it.
2. God brought a wonderful Titus 2 woman into my life to mentor me.
3. I read the book "So Much More" by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin, which completely rocked my world.
4. I began applying the principles I learned from that book and the Word of God to my calling as a wife and mother.
5. As I committed to walking in obedience to the Word of God, I found that bondages to fear and anger that I had struggled against for years were broken.
6. Because of the dramatic change I experienced through simple obedience to the Word, I began to have a love for the Word like I had never known before.
7. I had more and more desire to know what the Bible says and do it. If simple obedience to the Word of God causes so drastic of a change, I want to apply that word to my life as much as possible!
8. I began to understand who I am in Christ.
9. I continued to read and learn from books like "On the Other Side of the Garden" by Virginia Fugate and "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace.
10. I began to focus more and more on my home as my center of ministry through discipling my children, ministering to my husband and hospitality to others.
11. I started to set my house in order, beginning with a family closet and expanding through the rest of the house. I still have not finished everything I want to do, but I'm always getting closer to my goals.
12. I began to look at gardening as not only a fun hobby, but also a legitimate way to become more self-sufficient and save money.
13. I began to study home making skills such as bread baking, canning and knitting.
14. I started to view myself as my husband's help meet, instead of him being mine.
15. As I did that, my heart turned toward my husband and I began to love and appreciate him more deeply than I ever had before.
16. I began to find myself blissfully happy throughout the day, as opposed to mostly discontent, which would have been my normal state of mind.
17. I found myself daydreaming about what a wonderful husband I have. I could actually see that now. He's always been wonderful, but I was blind to so much of it.
18. With my husband's blessing, I and the daughters of our home began to dress more modestly and femininely.
19. I saw my oldest daughter blossom as she began to learn alongside me what it means to be a godly woman.
20. I got to attend an Above Rubies conference in Lake Tahoe with my daughter, sister and a dear friend.
21. I found a wonderful mentor in Nancy Campbell, founder of Above Rubies, and began to read her materials with great interest.
22. I continue to be challenged to grow in my walk with the Lord and am so excited to allow Him to continue His work in me.

For years, the verse in the Bible that I most related to was Proverbs 14:1. "A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands." It was the foolish woman that I most related to. I wanted to be the wise woman, but I just did not know how. But God is teaching me how to be the wise woman and I have such hope for the future of my family because I know that we are on the right path.

Oh, and one more thing. 23. I made plans with my dad to start keeping bees. We got to tour two different hives. He is building our first two hives next weekend with my kids. And our bees are on order for April!

God is so good and I give Him all the glory. He has done great things!

On My Mind

2011-11-06T20:53:00.000-08:00

This has been quite a week! Rebecca and I returned from a fantastic conference in beautiful Lake Tahoe on Sunday afternoon. On Monday, my dad went into the hospital having had a mini stroke. He's going to be ok, praise God. Tuesday, Sarina started throwing up and blessed the rest of our family with illness for the rest of the week! All but one of us have had this stomach virus to varying degrees. We tried a couple of interesting things to combat the virus this time. First, we all started taking activated charcoal to try and nip the sickness in the bud. You see, activated charcoal adsorbs (not absorbs) all sorts of viruses and toxins. So if you ingest it, it will bind to the bad things in your gut and take it out. My hope was if we all started on it right away, the virus wouldn't be able to get established in our systems. No such luck. The charcoal may have lessened the symptoms, though. Most of us only threw up four or five times, and some not at all. And recovery seemed to be quicker, too. So it wasn't the miracle cure I was hoping for, but it seemed to help some.

The second really cool thing I did was give enemas to my really sick ones. I know, it sounds weird. But I felt it was worth sharing, because it made a big difference. The logic behind giving an enema is that if the patient cannot hold fluids down, you can introduce fluids into their digestive tract from the other direction. I just put some electrolyte, honey and charcoal into an enema and then squeezed it into my patient's rectum. I can't say they were so excited about this treatment. But I noticed that for those who were very sick it kept them from getting dehydrated.

I also made homemade electrolyte out of 1/3 calcium water (boil a whole egg for 20 minutes in water and the shell will let calcium into the water), 1/3 juice and 1/3 hibiscus tea. I also added honey to sweeten it. Then I put in salt to taste and there you go, no yucky artificial sweeteners in my electrolyte!

So that's what's been on my mind. Nothing too profound, but maybe the info will come in handy for you sometime. And, hey, when you're surrounded by puking people, your thoughts don't go too deep anyway! :)

Surprise!!!

2011-05-08T00:02:00.000-07:00

I wasn't sure that I would ever write on this blog again. But reading my friend's blog has inspired me, so I'm going to post.

I have been learning so much about godly womanhood and God's plan for families and it is having a huge impact on my family. There's way too much for me to write about in this post, but suffice it to say that we are focusing on our home being our center of ministry, not only for our family but also as a way to reach out to those around us. We're cutting out activities that do not support our family vision and beginning to make our home a center of industry. Rebecca and I began a foray into canning this last week, with decent results but a lot of room to grow! At least our strawberry jam is edible, if not a little weird. We also want to learn to sew. And I want to improve the gardening situation in our back yard and bring the kids into my gardening projects.

But all this industry takes time, and when we are doing school until 4pm every day (including piano practice) we don't have time for any additional projects. So we have decided to start doing year-round school. I never expected to be excited about such a thing. But I am thrilled at this prospect. I think that we will have so much more flexibility in our year because we won't be pushing to be finished by a certain date. When the grandparents want to take the kids camping and it goes over a week day, I won't be worried about their school. And if they don't get everything done in one day, I will know that we have many more days to work on it without the deadline of the end of the school year looming over us. It will also keep their minds from turning to mush over the summer, so that's a good thing. If all goes the way I think it will, we will have academics in the morning, Bible and music practice in the afternoon to be done by 2:30. Then we'll have our project time from 2:30 till 4:30 or so where we can work on whatever we have going at the time.

The other change I want to share is that we are converting one of our bedrooms into a family closet!!! In short, all of our clothes, shoes, bedding, etc. will go into one room on hangars, shelves and bins. Once I have the project done, I'll (hopefully) post pictures of it. But you can google "family closet" if you want to read more about it. You can probably imagine what a chore the laundry is around here. And then there are the bins and bins of off-season clothes and in-between sizes clothes. Oh my, it's a job. This should greatly simplify the challenges of getting laundry clean and put away for me, as well as help me to see at a glance what our clothing needs are. And in the end, it will greatly increase the storage space in the rest of the house. So a major overhaul is coming at the Stroup home in more ways than one!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T02:42:00.001-08:00

Oh come let us adore him,
Oh come let us adore him,
Oh come let us adore him,
Christ, the Lord.

What should I do?

2010-11-24T00:21:00.000-08:00

Over the past couple of months, it has come to my attention that some stores that I frequent are either directly or indirectly supporting Planned Parenthood. I was very disappointed to hear about this, since I like one of the stores so much I actually have their store credit card. But knowing what I know, I could not knowingly support a store that is contributing to the holocaust of our children. In the past, I was involved in the big Target boycott, which lasted a decade. It eventually ended in Target removing their support for Planned Parenthood. So I have seen how a boycott can change the course of a company's decisions. Therefore, my husband and I have decided to join the boycott of these stores until they change their policy.

Someone recently told me about a pet store chain that had been getting their animals from places that were not humane. I guess this fact made the news and within something like a week that pet store was out of business because people were so indignant that the pet store would support such an atrocity. One week! It took us ten years to get Target to change their policy, but a pet store was put out of business in one week! Where are our priorities? Why is it that a child is seen as less important than a dog? And what are we going to do about it? Let's wake up! You might not be able to change everything, or address every injustice. But do something. Ask God what he wants you to do and then obey him.

Inspired

2010-10-14T00:13:00.000-07:00

For some reason I'm inspired to write a blog post tonight - at 11:30 when I should be in bed. But I thought I'd better grab the inspiration when it comes. (Maybe I should drink black tea with lunch more often...)

I have not told the story of Sarina's birth yet, so I'll give that a quick summary. We were supposed to be induced on June 9th. But we really didn't feel peace about it. After praying about it, we decided to go with my doctor's recommendation and proceed with the inducement. However, we were praying that God would close the doors if it was not his will. The 9th came and there were no closed doors, so off we went to the hospital. We checked in, got our room, I got dressed in the gown, IV, everything. The bag of pitocin was ready to go and the midwife walked in. First things she asks is how I feel about having the baby today. So I was upfront with her and told her that I wasn't feeling so sure about it. After much discussion and some tests on the baby to make sure she wasn't under stress, I walked out of the hospital still pregnant! I never would have thought that I would be happy to leave the hospital one week past my due date and pregnant. But I felt so much peace that it didn't matter that I was physically uncomfortable. I glorify the Lord that he was able to close the doors for us so late in the game. He sent us just the right person to enable us to follow his plan.

We went back to the hospital the following Friday, the 11th. I can't tell you how differently I felt driving there. On Wednesday I had been feeling dread, fear, worry, but this day I felt excitement and anticipation - all of the things I should feel when I'm about to meet my baby. The inducement on Friday went off without a hitch. Pitocin started at 7am. Although the contractions were progressing, it was nothing big until my water broke at 9:20. Then everything took off like a rocket. Sarina was born at 9:55 am. So that was almost three hours from start to finish. Not bad.

Now she's four months old, rolling all over the place, smiling, laughing and delighting us all.

Our school year is going great! Every year seems to bring new improvements over the last one and this year is no exception. I am learning better time management skills, as well as learning to accept that even if I don't get everything done in a day that I would like to, God knows what I need to do and everything else can wait. The older two kids are learning how to manage their time better, too. And we're all learning how to work together to keep our home a nice, clean place to live.

One more bit of news before I go. We just found out that there is another home school family living in our neighborhood with a large family like us. I actually had met them before, because they own a used curriculum book store that I shop at. But last Monday, Rebecca came rushing in exclaiming that the people who own the book store lived just down the street. So we literally dropped everything, piled the babies in the stroller and went to introduce ourselves. We all had a blast and the kids went back over today to play again. Matthew and I had just been talking last week about how our kids don't have other kids in our neighborhood to play with. I remember at the time of that conversation submitting my heart to the Lord's plan for our children and reminding myself that he knows what they need. So the timing of meeting this family was so sweet to me because the Lord was answering the cry of my heart.

God is so good. He fills my life with so much joy. I love living for him.

Final Decision About School

2010-06-01T18:02:00.000-07:00

I just found out today that the John Adams Academy will not be able to receive all the funding they need to start up this year until October. So they have decided to wait until next year when they can get the funds earlier and use them for their start-up costs. That means we get another year to home school! I have been having a hard time with the thought of not having the kids home. I would miss them so much during the day. I know that I would adjust. And if it's what God has for them, he has a different plan for me, too. But I'm really happy to know that I get to keep them home for another year.

Treasure in Heaven

2010-05-29T23:48:00.000-07:00

Tonight our oldest daughter was baptized. It was a very special event that I was greatly looking forward to. She has been ready to make a public commitment to the Lord for some time now. But what made this event even more special was the fact that Matthew got to baptize her. I didn't find out that he was going to do it until right before the baptism. So I pretty much cried non-stop from the moment I found out until after she was baptized. Our kids are such a blessing to us. And our greatest desire for each of them is that they would have a personal relationship with the Lord and follow him with their whole hearts all of their lives. They really are the treasures we are storing up in heaven.

I did manage to see through the tears to get a few pictures. :)

I did it!

2010-05-18T21:24:00.001-07:00

I just managed to add a button to my blog from a source that was incorrect! But with a little research and using someone else's html code with my changes made, I fixed the problem and now I have a beautiful "Drawn from Water" button on my blog!

Drawn from Water is very near and dear to my heart. It is an orphanage in Africa that rescues "Mingi" children who are marked to die because of tribal superstition. Our church started this orphanage to rescue the children and find adoptive homes for these kids who would not have survived otherwise. The picture you see is of the first child rescued, who has now been legally adopted by a wonderful family in our church. They are heading to Africa in a few weeks to meet her and bring her home. Please take a minute to read the blog. I'm pretty sure that this is one of God's favorite ministries on earth right now. ;)

And Now About School

2010-05-13T20:50:00.001-07:00

This should be a shorter blog. We're applying to send our kids to a charter school called "The John Adams Academy." It's a school that's being started by a previous home school family who has the vision to raise up "servant leaders" in the next generation. They use a classical approach to education with an emphasis on teaching critical thinking. We have never found an opportunity for the kids better than home schooling. But this could be one. I never planned on stopping home school. I love schooling the kids, even after the hard days. I love having them home and would miss them if they were gone for the day. But this school could offer them some learning opportunities that I can't give them here. And in addition, the morals they will be taught there are in line with the morals we are teaching them here. So the school will actually be reinforcing the character training we work on at home. At this point, they have 500 plus applicants with only 400 spots open. So they are going to be doing a lottery for the spots in the school. We'll see what happens. But this could really change the way life goes around here!

Promise of Laughter

2010-05-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

I mentioned in a previous blog that the Lord has called the baby that is coming "laughter." You can read that here: http://thestroupsgrowingfamily.blogspot.com/2009/09/laughter.html
Since then, almost anytime I've been prayed over the last nine months that word has been repeated. The Lord is bringing laughter and joy with the birth of this baby. I'm all for that! Life is intense and hard! Raising children is hard and often not fun. I really need the joy of the Lord every day or I get pulled under the challenges of the day. I have not even come close to walking in the joy of the Lord during my day. So this promise has me excited because I know that the Lord is doing a work in me and in my family. And when it is His work (not mine) and His promise, I know it won't return void. But He is faithful to complete the work He has started.

Along that strain, I may or may not have mentioned that about a year and a half ago, the Lord challenged us to trust Him with the size of our family. So we stopped using birth control. This has been a huge challenge to me as far as trusting the Lord and surrendering control to Him. I was SURE I would be pregnant by the time Aaron was nine months old. But he was actually 14 months when I got pregnant with this baby. In addition, the way the Lord has surrounded this pregnancy with prophetic promises, including one before I ever knew I was pregnant, has helped my weak heart to trust and know that this child is just as planned as all of our other children, who we planned ourselves. God is so good to us.

Our new baby's name is Sarina Karen. Finally, another girl! Sarina means "princess who laughs." Karen is Matthew's mother's name. She died in 1995 and we have been waiting for eleven years to pass on her name! Karen means "pure." I find it very cool that our baby is "pure laughter."

Catching Up

2010-05-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

It's been pointed out to me that I haven't blogged since October and people want to know what's happening in my life. So, I'm going to post two or three to catch people up over the next few days.

I thought I would start with our fostering/adoption situation. Joshua did go back to his first foster home last November. I heard that he adjusted really well back into the home. But I have not heard anything since then. That's kind of the way it goes with fostering. So, I just pray for him and his parents and hope that they are ok.

After Joshua left, I told Matthew that I felt like we had gotten an "F" on fostering. It was very challenging trying to teach him how to behave when he had very little discipline up to that point in his life. I was amazed at how adept he was at manipulation at such a young age. And he seemed to know exactly how to push my buttons. It took a few months after he left before I didn't feel anything except a sense of relief that he was gone. Now, as Aaron is approaching two and reminding me of Joshua all the time, I do have fond memories of him. And I wish I could go back and love him better.

Since that time, we have been looking for open and closed doors as to whether or not we're to foster. Given the fact that we're expecting - I'm due in three weeks - Koinonia put us on an unofficial break. In addition, we just found out that the state of California has passed a law that a foster home cannot have more than a total of six children in the home. This was actually a policy at Koinonia already. But they may have made an exception for us. But now that this law has passed, I think the door is closing. The law only applies to state foster homes at this point. But there are plans to expand it to private foster agencies in the future. So, at this point, we may be done with fostering.

I have wondered why God would have us go through this process just to foster one child for three months. But we can't know all of His purposes. I don't know what God's plan for us in the future is regarding fostering and adopting. But I am very sure that He will be faithful to lead us every step along the way.

Next blog...the new baby!

Coming Changes

2009-10-29T00:05:00.001-07:00

We found out yesterday that Joshua will be moving foster homes on Wednesday, November 4th, which is in a week. I am really excited about this move, because it will really move him toward reunification with his parents. He is also going back to his first foster home, where he was already really attached to his foster mom there. Things seem to be falling into place!

Latest Update

2009-10-24T22:12:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to blog lately, but haven't felt ready to sit down and commit words to paper, so the speak, until tonight. We've all been doing well, although I'm dealing with pregnancy sickness. But my family is wonderful and they take up for me in many areas. I am so grateful for my husband and my kids. I feel like a queen with them.

Joshua has continued to meld into our family more and more. I've noticed that he listens to and obeys Matthew much quicker and better than he does me, so he must be feeling like one of the kids, since that's pretty much status quo around here. Why is that??? Don't answer.

Anyway...Joshua. We just found out that he will probably be leaving us in the next couple of weeks. His case is being moved to another county. We have known of this possibility for a few weeks. But it's official now. There is a court date on Tuesday that should give us a more solid idea on the time frame. But it's almost a sure thing. It's very interesting, because we have not felt like Joshua is supposed to stay in our family. We're more of a temporary stop for him. But if his case had stayed in Placer County, there could have been a greater chance that he would not go back to his parents. His social worker here really would like to see him stay with us. She sees a secure and stable future for him in our family. So, we've been praying and praying that God's will would be done with this. And I think part of that plan is for the case to move to a county that will be more open to reunification with his parents. As a result, I'm really excited about this move, for Joshua and his parents.

I have actually had the opportunity to get to know his parents more over the last couple of months. They talk with him on the phone a couple times a week. And I have been with them at a some doctor appointments. Their love, adoration really, for Joshua is very evident. They have been devastated by this separation. His dad, especially, is feeling it. He told me that having Joshua taken is the worst pain he has ever experienced. Their whole goal in life right now is to get Joshua back. The really great thing is that they are also going after God and his way. I am very hopeful that they can make it. I pray fervently, for Joshua's sake as well as their own, that they will succeed. They also have another little boy on the way. I so desire to see this family reunited and fulfilling their destiny together. Please pray for them, when you think of us. They have not had many cheerleaders behind them. But I know that if they cling to God with everything they have, they can go forward and never go back.

Of course, the next question is, what's next for the Stroups? Well, aside from having a new baby due in June and all the general craziness that makes up our lives. But in the adoption arena, what's coming for us? Well...I actually got to speak to the head of adoption at Koinonia tonight. He just so happens to attend my church AND I just so happened to see him for the first time in months there tonight. :) He told me that he had a 1/2 hour conversation with our social worker just this week. And he also spoke with the director of the local Koinonia office in Loomis. They are all very enthusiastic about finding us an adoptive placement. I had been worried that we would be disqualified because I'm pregnant. As you might recall, Koinonia has a six kids per household policy. And the new baby makes six. But we don't technically have six yet. So the door is still open. I had started to think that maybe we had done all this just for Joshua and his parents. And that would have been fine. But it's cool to think that God may have one or two for us that need a forever family. I'm excited to see who else God brings into our family.

I cannot say that fostering is easy. I have been very stretched and challenged by many things in the last few months, like learning to parent a child who does not have the foundation that I'm used to giving my kids, learning to parent in a way that I am not accustomed to, learning to love a child that is not my own, and most of all, learning that I really, really cannot raise these kids, any kids, on my own. I desperately need the Lord to meet me in this. And I really need my husband, family and friends. I tend to be pretty self-sufficient, and proud of it. But that is not God's way. So he is using this experience to teach me weakness. Or, more acurately, to show me the weakness that was already there. I think God is a pretty cool guy.

Can I Live?

2009-10-10T23:14:00.001-07:00

I just got this post from my brother-in-law. It's worth watching.

Laughter

2009-09-27T23:00:00.000-07:00

About ten days before we found out we were pregnant, I was working around the house when out of nowhere, God spoke to my heart, "You're going to have an Isaac." It was one of those times that His voice is so clear, there is no doubt about what you heard. So I thought, "Ok. God's going to give us another boy sometime." At that point, I wasn't even thinking about being pregnant. Then, of course, we found out that we're pregnant. So we've been talking about how even though we're going to have an Isaac someday, that doesn't mean that THIS one is the one.

Tonight, the worship team I play with on Sunday nights was praying a blessing over me and this pregnancy. After several minutes of sweet prayer and blessings, our prayer leader spoke up and said, "Christal, I feel the Lord telling me that this child is an Isaac." Haha! What a confirmation! He said that just because the baby is an Isaac, that doesn't mean that it's a boy. But we have laughter coming to our family that will spill out to the world around us. I am so excited.

I love how the Lord delights in giving us gifts like the word that came tonight. I can imagine him thinking, "It's almost time for Christal to get the gift I've had planned for her forever!" It's like when your excited to see your kids open their Christmas presents that have been under the tree. The moment comes and you see that unforgettable expressions on their faces. It's such a fun part of being their parents. I always try to capture that expression with the camera. God got a great picture for his album tonight.

Make That Nine

2009-09-26T22:19:00.001-07:00

We are very excited to have found out that we will be welcoming a new member to our family in June. I am about four weeks pregnant with our sixth biological child. God is good and he sure loves life!

Numbering Eight

2009-08-28T20:05:00.000-07:00

It's been a little over two weeks since we got Joshua. We've had two very busy and eventful weeks! Joshua is doing very well and feeling more and more like he's one of our own. He attached to me fairly quickly. I think that somehow he knew that I'm his new mommy, because he almost immediately turned to me for safety and comfort. We've spent the last couple of weeks training him in our rules and establishing who is the boss. He gets it. He challenges it, too. But what kid doesn't? The good thing is that he responds well to discipline and changes his heart. It's different, not spanking. I've come to appreciate the blessing of spanking a lot in the last couple of weeks. But, we're getting there without it. God is in this and he's not limited by the restrictions placed on us.

One interesting emotion I've encountered is the feeling of not wanting to invest so much of myself into him. Given that he is not going to be staying in our family forever, I have felt like he won't even benefit from the training he's receiving here. So I've had to remember that I am not doing this for any other reason than to obey the Lord. The final results are in his hand. And you never know what could happen in the future, or what kind of impact you could have that you never fathomed would take place.

I have been thinking about the scripture in Matthew 18:5-6 and 10.

"And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who trusts in me to lose faith, it would be better for that person to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around the neck.

Beware that you don't despise a single one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels are always in the presence of my heavenly Father."

There have been a few times in the last couple weeks when I've begun to despise having Joshua here. We've had some pretty challenging days, not just with him but with the other kids as well. Even though in my head I could tell myself that we're all adjusting to a new family member and he's adjusting to us, my emotions and my will were not so happy with the situation at times. But as I ponder God's heart for children, it changes my perspective on them. They go from being a burden and an emotional drain to being precious jewels in God's treasure chest. I have known most of this for a long time. But I think I'm finally beginning to "get" it.

The other day, I was talking to my chiropractor and he commented that training Joshua must be fun. "Fun?" I said, "What do you mean?" He answered, "Well, you get to see him change and grow and improve under your care." I had never thought of it that way before. I tend to get caught up in the daily grind of character formation and forget to step back and look at the amazing honor I have been given to mold six little lives into people that love the Lord and bless the people around them. The other day, as I was trying to get the kitchen clean and dinner made at the same time and the "little ones" as we call the younger three were trying unsuccessfully to get along, I took a moment to remember the conversation I had with my chiropractor and thank the Lord for this tremendous blessing and privilege. It was amazing how quickly my heart went from grousing and complaining to soaring in joy.

The Lord told us that he wanted to use this experience to make us into the family that he wants us to be. In fact, I have reminded him and myself of this several times in the last couple of weeks. I am glad to know that he is not wasting any time.

Joshua

2009-08-12T22:08:00.001-07:00

We went and picked up our little boy today. His name is Joshua and he is two years old. He is a very sweet and cheerful boy. He has quickly befriended the kids, who are also happy to have him as part of the family. I believe that we will have him for about six months. His parents are pretty serious about getting him back and very concerned about him. So they are working hard to make sure they get to the place that they can give him a good home. That's a good thing to hear.

Here We Go!

2009-08-07T20:44:00.001-07:00

We were informed today that we have been selected to foster a little boy, two years old. I will be meeting with his social worker on Monday. Given that there are no surprises, we should be able to welcome this little one into our home next week. :) This situation is moving toward reunification. That means that his parents are getting help and he will hopefully be able to go back home eventually. God is good!

Life!!!

2009-08-01T23:00:00.000-07:00

Today I met the neatest old lady over the onions in the grocery store. I noticed her because of her face. It was just a glimpse, but it struck me as the sweetest countenance I had seen in a long time. I thought, "With a face like that, she must know Jesus." Then I noticed the WWJD bracelet on her wrist. So I said, "Excuse me, but your face has the sweetest countenance I have seen in a long time." When she heard that she grabbed me in a big hug saying, "Oh, thank you! That made my day! I hope it's Him in me that makes you say that." I replied, "When I first saw you, I thought that you must be a Christian, but then I saw your bracelet and knew." She told Joel that he has the best mommy. She may think that I made her day, but she really made mine just by being there in the store.

I've been thinking a lot about the rights and wrongs of this world and the value of life. New life, old life, life that is not capable of making any tangible contribution to society. I have a neighbor who is 91. She lived through the Great Depression, WWI, a whole century of history is living next door to me. She is a poet, but she used to be a reporter. Actually, she confided the other day that poetry is getting old and she's branching out into editorial work. I would love to see what she has to say! She has an interesting perspective on life, politics, religion, family and on and on. I love to talk to her because she is a wealth of experience and wisdom. She's living on social security with the love and help of her family.

I have another soon-to-be neighbor moving in on the other side of me. She has a daughter who is mentally retarded. I've only met the daughter once, but she is thrilled to meet new people and learn their names. When we met, she was completely enamored by Aaron. She has nothing to give material wise, or even intellectually, but brightens up the atmosphere when you are with her.

So much life! So much potential!

You're probably asking, "Where are you leading me, Christal?" I'll tell you. It's ObamaCare. There are way too many things wrong with it for me to list here. But the two that just really, really get me are public funding of abortions and euthanasia. The Bible says that Satan wants to kill, steal and destroy. This bill will promote just that for the unborn and for the elderly, our future and our past, the source of our greatest riches. Please, contact your representatives and senators and voice your concern for this bill. We need an enormous public outcry against this. I recently read a quote. "Apathy is the glove that the hand of evil wears in order to keep from skinning it's knuckles while it smashes babies against the wall." Please, do something.

We're Official!!!

2009-06-26T21:39:00.000-07:00

We found out yesterday that we are now certified to fost-adopt. It's actually been in effect since the 22nd, but we signed off on our home study yesterday.

Meant to Be

2009-05-30T10:28:00.000-07:00

This is a beautiful song written by a man whose mom chose to give him up for adoption rather than abort him. It's worth listening to.

http://www.shouldhavebeenaborted.com/MEANT_TO_BE.html

Christal

Weeping

2009-05-27T17:50:00.000-07:00

Tonight I found myself cooking dinner and weeping, so full of emotion after this day. I had just gotten off the phone with my brother-in-law. He and my sister are currently in Louisiana adopting a beautiful little girl, Alana Michelle. As with all adoptions, this one is bittersweet. Alana's mother did not give her up because she was unwanted. She gave her up in order to give her a better life. And so, Paul and Michelle are experiencing the joy of welcoming a precious child into their home, while at the same time, Alana's birth mom experiences empty arms, loving her daughter beyond her own life.

On this very same day that Paul and Michelle welcome Alana in, my dear friends who got a new son last week had to say good-bye to him. Again, it's bittersweet. The birth mom in this case realized the she could not live with giving him up. And as a result, he will be able to grow up knowing his mother, grandparents, siblings. This is a wonderful thing! But it's also a heart break for my friends, who love this baby as their own son.

As I have pondered these things, I have again marveled at how God is able to make beauty from the mess we make of life. Yes, there is sorrow and pain, but those things never come without joy and gladness. He truly takes our sorrow and mourning and turns them into dancing and joy, no matter what the circumstance. He is bigger and he is faithful. And he has greater plans than we can even imagine!

In the Middle of Something Great

2009-05-20T00:06:00.000-07:00

You know how you go through life moment by moment, day by day but don't really see the whole picture? Then, God breaks in and something happens that makes you step back and say, "Wow, I'm totally in the middle of an amazing plan of God!" That's how tonight felt to me. I got to be part of a life-changing God moment.

Tonight I got to meet a newborn baby boy. The amazing thing about this little boy, born on May 19th, my birthday, is that he is an orphan. He was born at 10:11 in the morning, eleven minutes after his birth mother walked into the hospital. But her life does not allow her to keep him, so she surrendered him to the hospital immediately. And because of God's goodness, the social worker who was involved in this case has also worked with my good friend who already has two adopted children. So the social worker called my friend to find out if she and her husband would like to take this baby. Within two hours, they were on the road to the hospital, which happens to be here in my town, to meet their new son. And so, just like that they have a baby.

As soon as I heard the news, I was on my way to meet this new little guy. He is just perfect. He actually looks like his adopted sister. Really, it's unbelievable how much alike they look. He has these hugely long feet and big hands. So I think he's going to be a pretty tall guy. And his fuzzy hair is dark, but we'll see what it ends up being.

While I was there I got to hear some of his history. Even though the circumstances surrounding his conception were not good, his birth mom made sure that she took good care of herself while she was pregnant. She didn't smoke or drink or anything like that. So she really cared for him. And she did all that knowing that she was not going to raise this child. She had the choice to abort this unwanted child, but she gave him the gift of his life. And that's amazing. She's an amazing woman, even if she doesn't know it. I am so grateful that she loved him enough to do this.

God really has rescued this little boy. He rescued him in his womb from a premature death. And he even rescued him from going into the foster care system by giving him a godly home right from the start. I'm amazed that this baby is less than one day old and abandoned. But he already has a permanent family. I mean, it's not like his birth mom read through the profiles of many prospective parents and chose the one that she thought would be best for her baby. This baby could have very easily ended up in the foster care system. But God plucked him right up and placed him into a wonderful family where he will be raised in the love of the Lord. Tonight, I truly got to experience a miracle. God is so able to do whatever he sees fit to do. All our plans and systems are nothing to him. He is so worthy of our praise and adoration.

I Love This!

2009-05-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

I'll be the first to admit that I have not found becoming a parent easy. I'm a bit of a hard head. So God really has to work on me. I have often found myself wondering why I'm not enjoying the parenting process more. Rebellious attitudes and disobedience really tend to get to me. And I don't tend to be the most patient person in the world. Nor do I have the most perseverance. So, although I have been quite committed to parenting and parenting well, I have not always found pleasure in it. But this past weekend it seems like something shifted. It wasn't huge. In fact, Saturday was particularly difficult. I had two children who just wouldn't obey no matter what. And then one of them tried to shift the blame for what they did to another. And that really gets my goat when that happens! It's one thing to sin. But to sin and then pass the blame off onto someone else??? Grrr!!! But I remember a moment, sitting on the floor of our bonus room, trying to reason with this child who was determined to see it only their way. I looked at Matthew for help, desperate to get through to this one. And in the middle of all that, I thought, "I love this!" And I really meant it!

I can't tell you how many times I have gone to the Lord with something like, "What are you asking of me?!?! How on earth can I foster when I have such a hard time with my own kids?" I have woken up in the morning with a sense of dread about the responsibilities and issues that the new day holds. I have found parenting to be a burden to me in many ways, even as I have known that it's my calling and passion. But recently I went to the Lord and said, "Ok, you said that your yoke is easy and your burden is light. I know this doesn't mean life is easy. But you carry the burden for us. I know I'm carrying things I shouldn't. Please help me." I think God is answering that prayer. I think he is changing me and giving me what I need to do what he has called me to do. This is what he has promised to do in his word. And he is always faithful to keep his promises.

Psalm 127:1,2
Unless the LORD builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the LORD guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain.
[It is] vain for you to rise up early,
To sit up late,
To eat the bread of sorrows;
[For] so He gives His beloved sleep.

This is God's heart for us as parents. So often we take on so much of the burden for how our kids turn out, or even how they act now! But, really, raising a family is God's process. He does not want us to lose sleep and be troubled about our kids. He wants to build our houses and he wants to give us his peace. And even in our weaknesses and humanity, he will make sure that we are in just the right place spiritually, emotionally, physically, for whatever he has called us to.

Home Study Almost Finished

2009-05-12T22:18:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to get excited here. Daryl came out today with our "completed" home study for us to review. Now that we have approved it, he is taking to to his editors. While they have it, he will be putting our profile together with our picture and basic info. Then, when he gets that done and the home study comes back, we will become certified!!! Our profile will go into the system and we'll be ready to accept kids into our home.

In our home study, we are stating that we are specifically looking for one to two girls ages 0-5. I asked Daryl about the age, because in my mind I was thinking more like 6 and under. But he really doesn't want to disrupt the birth order for even our six year old. I thought that was interesting. And once again, I am so grateful that the people at Koinonia are just as, if not more, concerned about making sure that our family comes through this process intact as they are about finding good homes for foster kids. I really appreciate their commitment to whole families.

I think I mentioned this before, but if I haven't, I'll take the time to explain it a little more. There are two ways to work within the foster care system when you want to adopt. One is called concurrent placement and the other I can't remember the term for. But it is adopting kids whose parents have already lost their rights to them. So they are "adoptable". Concurrent placement, on the other hand, means that the kids are still in the process of either being restored to their parents, or having parental rights terminated. So we could get someone into our home, but then mom and dad get their act together and the kids go back home. We had a choice of whether or not we wanted to do concurrent placement, or only look at kids who are adoptable. We chose to be open to concurrent placement, because we don't know exactly how God wants to use us in this process. And if he wants us to minister to some kids for a short time and then send them back home, we want to be available. So, that being said, there is a good possibility that we will get one or two kids who may or may not become a permanent part of our family.

In a couple weeks we are going to attend a picnic with social workers from the area and also kids that are currently adoptable. There are two reasons for us to go to this. The first is obvious. We will have an opportunity to meet some kids so that if any stand out to us we can pursue the possibility of adopting them. The second is so that the local social workers get a chance to meet us and get to know us a little. So it advertises us a little. Regarding the first reason for going, Matthew said that the only problem about going and seeing all these kids is that he'll want to say, "We'll take them all!" I love his heart.

Inching Closer

2009-05-03T23:53:00.000-07:00

We're ever so slowly getting closer to being certified. We have officially finished our interview process now. Darryl has to finish writing our profile, which is about 15 pages long. Then we will review it together. After that, it goes through an editing process before it's complete. But that's really all that is needed to finish!

Drawn From Water

2009-04-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

For a quick update - we expect to have one more interview with Darryl. Then he just needs to finish up our profile and we'll be certified!

This post, however, is to draw awareness to a new orphanage in Ethiopia. This orphanage is dedicated to saving the lives of children who have been marked to die for various reasons. You can learn more by going to www.drawnfromwater.org. Please take a moment to watch this video and pray about whether God would have you help in this effort.

Muddy Waters

2009-03-25T21:17:00.000-07:00

This week we have started our interview process with our social worker, Darryl. It has been interesting as he has probed into many areas of our life. We knew it was going to be pretty invasive. And we both are comfortable with being transparent. Being members of the Rock has really prepared us for that! But imagine revisiting every major issue you've faced, starting with your childhood and continuing into your marriage. That's what this week has been. It's been quite an emotional ride. I didn't realize how many issues I had! Last night, I was thinking that I felt like a pool of water that was nice and clear. But at the bottom was all this dirt that had settled over time. Then, Darryl came and stirred up the dirt and made my water all muddy. Not too fun. But I'm very grateful to be talking through these things now, because Darryl is pointing out how it could affect us with foster kids. And how these kids have learned to play adults and could try to use our issues against us.

We also have discussed what we are hoping for in the kids we are bringing in. One major concern I have had is if I would have the ability to home school them. We have heard that it's pretty much not allowed. So I was very encouraged that, as long as the foster kids' social worker is ok with it, we will be allowed to home school them. Darryl said that some social workers recognize the benefits of home school and others don't. But that will just be a determining factor on whether or not we can accept certain kids. As we've been going through this process, my heart has always leaned very strongly toward elementary aged kids. But I didn't see how I could do both a home school schedule and a public school one at the same time. So I was very happy to hear that I may not have to do that.

We also discussed the race of the children we will be getting. Most of the kids that Koinonia gets are either black or Hispanic. As we talked, we realized that we already have a good network of Hispanic people around us. We have an amazing Christian family across the street from us who are biracial. The mom is full blood Mexican and the dad is American. They speak both languages in the home as well. So the kids are bilingual. They could be a great resource for us as we endeavor to help our new kids feel comfortable. We also know some great Hispanic families at church, which will help. So, it's looking like we might be recommended for Hispanic kids over black ones.

We're meeting with Darryl again tomorrow. I'm hoping that we can get done with my portion of it, and possibly Matthew's. Darryl said that this process takes anywhere from 60-90 days. He has to take what we've talked about and write it up into a 15 page document, which will be available to social workers who are considering us for one of their kids. So, it takes some time for him to write and edit it, then let us proof read it and make any changes, etc. Using that guideline, it looks like it will be end of April to mid-May before we are finally ready to foster. However, that could be helpful because it would be nice for school to be out before the kids come to us. Then we can use the summer to get to know them and they us and integrate together before the demanding schedule of school time starts up again. Of course, this is all supposition. God alone knows what's really going to happen!

Moving Forward

2009-02-28T22:32:00.000-08:00

We sold Matthew's old car today. It was pretty cool. I posted the ad on craigslist at 10am and the car was sold by noon. I guess that's what happens when you sell a car for $250! :) The great thing was that the family that bought it had their car stolen a couple of weeks ago. This family of six has been using the bus and walking. Can you imagine taking a grocery trip for six people and then trying to walk home with it all? Anyway, they were really excited about having a car again, even it the power windows, door locks and mirrors don't work, it leaks oil and power steering fluid over time, the engine smells funny and is not at all pretty. I hope it lasts them until they are able to buy a better car in the future. I was glad that it went to a family in need instead of someone who just wanted to part it out. We have been so blessed with the purchase of the Tank that it's nice to turn around and bless someone else. At least, I hope our old car is a blessing!

I also discovered that I had gotten a call from our social worker yesterday! His name is Darryl. We have met him at a couple of different classes and he seems like a really nice man. His story is interesting because he was adopted as a child in a closed adoption. Over the years he has searched for his birth family. He found his mom, but is having a hard time locating his dad. But since he is adopted, he has a unique perspective on fostering and adopting. He also is a huge advocate of open adoptions, because his path has been so difficult since the records are sealed. I'm hoping that we will be able to schedule our first meeting for next week.

Speaking of closed and open adoptions, we came into this with the metality of doing a closed adoption. But as we have learned more, we have discovered that an open adoption does not mean that the birth family will have full access to us. As far as I understand, we determine how much exposure, if any, that we want to have with the birth family. During the fostering phase, of course, there will be visitation, which will be decided on and coordinated by the social worker. And that will most likely happen in a more neutral location. But after adoption, we will decide how much contact to have with the birth family. It might be something like monthly visits. Or it could just be birthday and Christmas cards. Or it could be absolutely no contact if the situation warrants it. However, the open records will allow our children to know who their parents are and find them if they so desire as they get older. I'm not sure if closed adoptions even happen now a days because the benifits of open adoptions are so accepted.

The Tank

2009-02-26T21:28:00.000-08:00

My kids have been asking every day this week, "Have we gotten the tax return yet?" So today I was very happy to announce to them this morning that we got the return and were ready to buy the van. It's been like waiting to go to Disneyland around here this past week. So, we rounded up and headed out to Danny's house.

While we were at Danny's house, we got a chance to know him and his family a little bit better. He told us some about what it was like growing up in Romania and how he came to America. We talked about big families and God's faithfulness. I think we could have talked all day, if we had the time. They just have the same heart as we do. And if we don't have enough in common, we also found out that he works at the grocery store right down the street from us! I have probably walked right past him a dozen times without knowing it. How amazing is that?! This van has really been so much more than a business transaction for us. It's been the beginning of a relationship.

So, we're ready. The final step to complete our certification is the interviews. I'm hoping to hear from our social worker at Koinonia soon. I'm hoping to find out who our social worker will be! But we have done everything that we can on our end of the deal. Now the adventure is really beginning!

A Little Update

2009-02-23T11:40:00.000-08:00

So, a week ago we found the van we wanted to buy were planning on financing it that Thursday. Danny, the gentleman who is selling it to us, was going to be at the snow on Tuesday and Wednesday. So we weren't going to be able to finalize the deal until Thursday. On Wednesday, Matthew found out that he is getting a 5% pay cut because of the current economy. Because of that, we decided that instead of getting a loan on the van and using our tax return to pay off a home improvement loan that we have, we would to use the tax return to buy the van outright. Now, you may be asking, "Why is she boring me with all these financial details?" It's because of God's amazing timing! If Danny had not gone to the snow, we would have gotten the loan on Tuesday. Actually, we would have gotten it on Monday if it hadn't been President's Day. But because of both President's Day and the snow day, we were forced to wait until Thursday, which allowed us to find out about the pay cut and change our plans. God is so good!

In addition, Danny is willing to hold the van for us and wait until we get the tax return. And, I just found out that his wife felt the Lord lay on her heart to make sure that the van has a full tank of gas when we come get it! They are just as excited to be part of the blessing as we are to receive it.

God's leading in this process has been nothing short of miraculous. You know, Danny was the very first person that I ever called from craigslist. It's unbelievable. This whole thing is unbelievable.

Undone

2009-02-16T14:45:00.000-08:00

If I were to pick one word to describe me right now, it would be undone. Seven months ago, we started this journey to adopt by simply saying yes, we were willing. In faith, we started the process of applying to Koinonia, knowing that if we were really hearing from God, he would provide the time and the means for it to happen. And sure enough, the money came in for us to pay for all the fees associated with becoming fost-adopt certified as well as all the home improvements we needed to make. That includes a new furniture set, as well as bedding and many other miscellaneous things. But all along, I have wondered about the van. The cost of all the other things was quite small compared to the van. So, we waited for tax season and wondered. But in the meantime, I was regularly on craigslist seeing what was out there and noticing that the vans that really looked good were all running at least $10,000, which is out of our price range.

Moving forward to now, we had our tax appointment on Friday and found out how much our return would be. It was good, but not $10,000. After doing some numbers, we decided that we really needed to keep it at or below $8000. There are a lot of Chevys out there for that, especially if it is really basic with not that many features and if it's an older model. So, Friday night I'm on craigslist again. I found a bunch of possibilities, but two stood out. One was a 1999 diesel with a leather interior sold by a dealer. The other was a 2005 being sold by a private party. Both were 12 passenger. So, after some financial consultation with my mom and mechanical consultation with my dad, I decided to call on the 2005. (Thanks, you two!)

Ok, so get this. I got on the phone with this guy named Danny. Turns out that he's selling this van on behalf of his church. They bought it for a couple of youth trips because it was cheaper to buy a van and use it a couple times and then sell it than it was to rent a van. Not a bad idea. Before the church owned it, the army did. So it has been meticulusouly maintained over it's lifetime, whereas a private party may not have maintained it as well. Danny is not only a Christian, but he is also an elder in his church AND he has seven kids of his own to boot! So he is totally excited to sell it to us and even offered to knock a few hundred off of his asking price.

Ok, so, the test drive. Matthew drove it first. We drove it to our mechanic to have him look at it. Matthew really liked it and was sold by the time we got to the shop. We told the mechanic a few things that we had noticed. One thing that had me concerned was some water staining on the ceiling in the back. I asked him to take a look at that because I don't want a leaking van! We headed home and an hour and a half later we get a call. "The van looks great! It's in great condition!" He was really impressed. And the leakage concern? Apparently, the trim had come loose back there and a bit in the front. So they just popped it back in for us since they were there. (Thank you Franklin's Family Auto. They are the best mechanic ever.)

While we waited for Franklin's to look at the van, I got on Kelley Blue Book. I put in all the features and the condition of the van and it came up as worth $9745 in excellent condition or $9070 in good condition, which is where I would put it. You know how much they are asking? $7600.

You know those features I was talking about doing without? This van has them. All the doors, windows and mirrors are electronic. The side mirrors have a defrost function. There is heat and a/c throughout, not just in the front. It has dual front airbags. And the passenger airbag even has a switch so that I can turn it off if I need to. It's ready for a tow package, if we ever decide to go that route. There's a little button thingy that you can push to switch it into tow mode, whatever that is. There is even a running board on the driver's side for my short legs! Really, this is way more than I could have imagined. The only thing that it doesn't have is a CD player. But it does have a radio, so if we ever decide to install a CD player it will not be a problem. In the meantime, I'll be listening to Air 1 a lot. Well, I already listen to Air 1, but it sounded good to say that.

I got to drive it back to the owner. The first time that the enormity of this van hit me was when I adjusted the side mirrors. The van kept going and going further and further back. Then I adjusted the rear view mirror and noticed that I was centering the far distant windows in the reflection. Wow, it's long. And I was thinking I might want a 15 passenger. But I found that I was completely comfortable driving it. I felt a little short, well, a lot short. I was imagining how I must look to someone looking in from the outside, barely peeking over the steering wheel. Kind of a comical picture, if you ask me. I was thinking that I might need to use a pillow to help me out in that area, but we'll see. The next thing I noticed was how small our van out in front of me looked. Really, it looked small. I think we'll start calling our mini-van the sports car. That's how small it looked from my lofty vantagepoint.

As I was driving, it hit me that this is really happening. And that it's happening far beyond and in a much better way that I ever expected. Sound like someone you know? "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him [be] glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. " (Eph 3:20-21) This is exceedingly abundantly above all I could have asked or thought. This journey of faith has been, and it continuing to be, the biggest test of faith that I have ever experienced. I can't tell you the fear I have battled that we might not be hearing God right, that maybe we really are crazy and going off the deep end. But, in the very beginning, we prayed that God would open the doors if this is what we are supposed to do and close them if not. And it has been nothing, nothing but open doors. I am amazed. I am undone. I cried most of the way back to the owner's house. To top it off, a week ago, a dear friend of mine woke up in the morning with this verse for me. "Charm is deceptve, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Prov. 31:30. (Then she said that I get extra praise because not only do I fear the Lord, but I am also beautiful. :) Ok, I'll recieve that.) So, we're turning into the neighborhood, almost to the owner's place and I'm listening to Air 1. They have these spots called "Lifechange Moments" and one came on. You guessed it. The verse was Proverbs 31:30. That did it for me. It could have been any verse in the Bible, but God put that one on for me. It was like God's stamp of approval on me, us, and this insane journey that we're on.

I do get scared. I'm scared of the struggle of bringing two hurting children into our home. I'm scared of the issues that we might have to face. I'm scared of the negative impact it could have on our kids. I'm scared of getting burned out. But then I see God obviously leading us, clearly making our path straight. And all I can say is, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Ps. 23:4. God has called us to this journey and he will not abandon us on the way. In fact, I would rather be out on a limb with God than denying his calling and staying in the security of the trunk of the tree. It's safer on the limb. :)

So, we have to finalize the sale. And that might not happen until Thursday. I might just amaze you with another post later this week when we have the van. But most likely I'll be getting my dream car this week! Unless, of course, God has a different plan. ;)

Life Goes On

2009-02-16T00:09:00.000-08:00

The last couple of months have been busy...as usual. :) As far as the fost-adopt process goes, we worked over the holidays on finishing up things around the house to be ready for our final home inspection. We just had that inspection two weeks ago and passed. Yay! So that means our home meets all the safety requirements that the state of California has for foster homes. We also took our last class a week ago. Now our file has been sent to the adoption department of Koinonia. We should be hearing from them in the next few weeks and start the interview process.

Tomorrow we are going out to look at a 12 passenger Chevy Express 2500. After much deliberation, we are pretty sure that we are going to buy a 12 passenger and not a 15 passenger. With our current family, we will have five extra seats in the van. But if we get two foster kids, that will take us down to 3 extra seats. Give us a few years and we'll probably have those filled, too! :)

In other news, Rebecca turned 10 earlier this month. We celebrated by inviting five of her friends to a Princess Laser Tag party, starting at a local laser tag venue and then moving to our house for gifts and DQ ice cream cake with the extended family. It was all a blast and a very memorable 10th birthday for her. She asked for money to buy a Nintendo DS and ended up with enough to buy the DS and two games! Talk about a score! I don't think I get that much money on my birthday! But I think that I need a DS now.

I sure am proud of my kids. It is an amazing journey to pour into your kids day after day for years and then finally begin to see it bear fruit in their lives. Both Rebecca and Daniel are just maturing so much right now. I'm starting to see who they are going to be as adults and it's pretty cool.

Remember the Unborn

2008-11-04T23:33:00.000-08:00

I'll be honest. My heart grieves at the turn our country took today. I have so many reasons why I would not have had Barack Obama become president. But if there is no other reason, it would be because of the unborn. President-Elect Obama said on July 17, 2007 that the first thing he would do as president is sign the Freedom of Choice Act. This Act will essentially nullify the state laws and restrictions that have been placed on abortion, including parental notification, restrictions on government funds and, tragically, the ban on partial birth abortion. As a result, our nation will see at least 125,000 more abortions per year, in addition to the 1.3 million that already take place. (http://www.lifenews.com/nat4359.html) This is a tragedy that grieves my heart more than I can express.

But even as I write this, I am listening to the International House of Prayer lift up Barack Obama before the Lord. And as much as my heart and human understanding lead me to grieve, I know that my Lord's leadership is perfect. He has given us this man for his purposes and his purposes are good. So, Father, I want to join in the prayers being lifted up for President-Elect Obama. Would you reveal yourself to him for who you truly are. Will you visit him with dreams and visions. Will you show him how great and wide and deep is your love for him. Thank you for what you are going to do through this man as he leads our nation. And thank you that you are faithful in all your ways.

I was so blessed today to hear from an amazing young woman regarding the abortion issue. Would you please take some time to hear her story?

Blessed Beyond Measure

2008-09-05T07:14:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since I entered a blog that I decided I must write one today no matter what. So much has happened since I last wrote. The biggest event, of course, was giving birth. Aaron Justice Stroup was born on July 25th and weighed 8 lbs. 15 oz. That makes him six weeks old today. He is a great little guy who seems to know that he's the fifth and fits himself right in to our routine. He has always been a great sleeper at night, which has been a huge blessing for me. Right now he seems to go 7-8 hours between feedings on most nights. He also has started smiling at me and cooing a lot.

We also started school this week. It's going very well. I feel like God has grown me over the summer as far as how I approach teaching. I think that the things he has shown me are helping me to be more patient and better able to help the kids when they are stuck. Rebecca is in fourth grade, Daniel in third and Joel in kindergarten. Daniel started Switched on Schoolhouse this year, which he loves since it's computer based. He watched Rebecca do it all last year and was itching to start school. Joel is "officially" in school now and is quite a concientous worker. He is quite meticulous about his work and wants to get it just right - ahhh, a teacher's dream. I'm trying a new reading curriculum with him this year called "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons." So far I really, really like it. He's enjoying the lessons as well. It's almost like we're playing a game together and he's learning without realizing it.

I have had many people ask me about how the adoption process is going. Let's see, the last news I gave was our experience at the foster care orientation class. Since then, we've done many of the home improvements that we need to become certified. Matthew worked hard during his time home after the baby. (We were blessed to have him home for ten days!) He set up both Rebecca and Daniels' rooms so that they now have capacity for two kids in each. So if we get our dream of one boy and one girl, we are ready to go. He also installed seven smoke alarms, one in each bedroom, one in the bonus room and an extra one in the hallway. I'm so glad to have the alarms in all the bedrooms. He also built our painting shelves into lockable cabinets, as well as installing Tot Locks in the laundry room where we will be able to keep our medicines and dangerous chemicals. He installed a wire shelf above the washer and dryer so that we can keep non-toxic cleaning supplies easily accessable but still out of reach to little hands. And since he didn't have quite enough to do with all this work and helping take care of the kids, he also touched up all the paint around the house, including our baseboards, which were sorely in need of some fresh paint.

Probably the most exciting news, though, is that we have all the money we need to finish our certification process. About a month ago, we got an unexpected check in the mail that more than covers our expenses. We not only have enough for the fees and such, but we also have enough to but things like cute comforters for the beds and the extra dresser that we need for Daniel's room. Finances have been the biggest determining factor in all this and have also been something that we are looking at to show us if God is opening or closing doors. So far, the doors keep opening. Well, it's more like they are flinging as wide as they can. People told me that if this was what God wanted, the finances would never be an issue. So it's very exciting seeing him do his work.

Now that we have the funds, we really need to get over to the police station and get our background checks started. Maybe we can go over there today...hmmm. Anyway, with that started, there will be some other minor paperwork things to do and the home improvements to finish. But we are pretty close to being ready to start our home study process. Very exciting! We also are scheduled to attend an adoption orientation class, which I'm really looking forward to. It will be similar to the foster care class, but with a focus on adoption, of course. I have been so impressed with how Koinonia really prepares their families. I can't tell you how much of a comfort it is to me to have their covering over us.

One more thing, we still need a 12 passenger van. I think that of all the big vans out there, I would like a Cheverolet Express the most. We're thinking that with our tax return next year we should be able to pay at least a good chunk of money down on one and only finance a small portion of it. Actually, my prayer is that we would find one that we can pay cash for. Anyway, last night I was at a meeting for our home school co-op and was sharing with one of the other moms about how God has provided finanically for this adoption. I added that all we need now is the van and she said that she would have her husband start looking out for one. I didn't even realize that he was in the car business, but I'm very excited at the prospect of having someone we know who is also plugged in to selling cars help us out. I don't know if anything will come of it or if God's provision will come from elsewhere. But I certainly feel God's support through that offer. On a side note, I never realized how many Chevy Express Vans there were out there! But now I see them all the time. Most of them are cargo vans. But the other day I saw a passenger one going down the road. You know, those things aren't small. And there's really nothing cool about driving one around. But I have never wanted to drive a vehicle like I want to drive one of those. :) I can just see myself going here and there in my minibus full of kids. It'll be like a party going down the road! I love having a big family!

Thank you, everyone who is praying. We are blessed beyond measure.

Oh, one more thing. Check out one of my friend's blogs at www.1boast.net. You'll be amazed at their story!

It's Here!

2008-07-21T16:43:00.000-07:00

No, it's not the baby. :) Today is my due date and he's still very happily staying indoors. I will see the doctor on Wednesday and we'll see what he has to say. So much for 39 weeks, huh? Oh well. It's been very good practice at being content with God's timetable instead of mine. I've had a couple of rough spots where I felt like I was going crazy. Actually, almost every morning now that I think of it. But I'm really trying to submit my heart to God's plan for each day.

What we did get, though, is that furniture. It has turned out better than I expected. It's a loft bed with another bed that comes out at an L shape. Then it has a five drawer dresser, a small wardrobe, and a bookshelf all of which fits nicely under the loft bed. So it will be pretty compact, which is great for the wall space in Rebecca's room. It is pretty scuffed and dinged, but we'll clean it with some oil soap and that should help. That will probably have to wait until after the baby comes, though. :)

We met with our pastor last week about fost-adopting. Although what he said was very challenging to me, it was good. The two things I took away from it were first that our natural kids have to come first. This is something that we learned in our foster care orientation class, but our talk with our pastor strengthened that resolve in my mind. Second, I had started to hold on to this whole idea like it had to happen instead of holding it with an open hand. Although I firmly believe that fost-adoption is in our future, if I hold on to it tightly and don't let God be the one to make it happen, we will have a disaster on our hands. So I need to guard my heart regarding that.

So, we haven't had any big developments, but I thought I'd share our little victories. Hopefully, my next post will involve pictures of a cute little newborn. :)

Open Doors

2008-07-13T22:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had our first training class for foster care. We weren't sure going into it if we would come away encouraged or discouraged. In fact, we had decided to postpone getting our background checks done until after this class so that we wouldn't have spent the money on them if we backed out. The person who taught the class is Bill Richardson, the grandson of the lady who founded Koinonia - whose full name escapes me at the moment. Her first name is Miriam. It was an amazing and very educational experience for us. Not only did we learn a lot, but we also were able to ask many questions that have been on our hearts. We came away from it even more sure that this is the course God has for our family.

Probably one of the most encouraging parts of the day for me was at the end, when we sat down one-on-one with Bill and just talked with him. As we explained that we have (almost) five kids at home aged 9 and under and our concerns for their well-being in this process, his immediate response was that we will have to be very careful about who we place in our home. I was so blessed at how committed Koinonia is to making the right match of children with foster parents instead of pressuring us to accept every child that comes along. Although, I think that Matthew would like to do that himself. :)

Koinonia also offers parents a lot of support including ongoing training as well as 24/7 help from our social worker. We also found out that in most cases, after the county social worker places the child with us, our main contact will be our Koinonia social worker. So we will continue to work with people who have the same vision and heart that we have. I am so grateful that God lead us to go through Koinonia, because I feel like we are being protected and supported where we're at and not being expected to fulfill a calling that we have not been given.

Speaking of callings, we came into this planning on adopting not fostering. However, as we learn more, we really believe that God would not have us limit how he wants to use us either as foster or adoptive parents. So we are not going to put any limitations on who they can offer us. For instance, if a child has just been removed from their home and there is a good possibility that they will go back home, we will still be open to fostering them for a time. Our ultimate goal is still adoption. And it could be that the first placement we get will be the ones God has for our family. However, if part of God's plan for us is to have an influence in the life of a child who may not stay with us, we do not want to say no to that. It seems like he may have lured us into one of his divine traps by getting us to say yes to a little without knowing the "a lot" that he has planned. I think it's called bait and switch. So typical of him. :)

Another blessing that just happened is some furniture. I found a matching set of solid oak bunk beds, a chest of drawers and a little wardrobe (which the kids think would be great for pretending Narnia in) priced at $150. But I wasn't really sure about it. It's almost got a nautical style to it all and it's got quite a few dings and such in it. Also, I felt that we needed to spend about $100 on the furniture in order to be frugal with our adoption money and this set cost $150. So I e-mailed the guy back and said that I was thinking about it, but wasn't sure about the style and asked a couple more questions. However, I said nothing about the price. I got a response today that he would drop the price of the whole set to $100 because his wife wants to get rid of them! I can't believe that we're going to get a set of oak furniture for that price. There's still a possibility that the deal could fall through. I have not heard back from him yet about when and where we can pick them up. But if it does, I'll just keep looking for what God has planned.

You've probably noticed that I have not had the baby yet. :) When I went to the doctor on Wednesday, I was dilated to 3cm. I usually am at about a 4 when I go into labor. So we're certainly getting close. I have regularly been having contractions throughout the day and increasing in the evening, but nothing enough to get me worked up yet. However, they are becoming stronger and more painful - not really painful, but it's there. Tomorrow is my "official" 39 week mark. Because I felt like God said to pray for 39 weeks, I'm having a hard time disciplining my soul not to be anxious about going into labor tomorrow - or to have any expectations really. And my pride would not like it much if I had to admit that I was wrong about what God said. Blah to my flesh! Anyway, be thinking of us and praying this week. I'm ready to hold my newest little boy in my arms. I think we all are.

God is so amazingly good. He is asking us to step out in faith quite a bit right now. It's very stretching, to say the least! And it's only just begun. I know that what he is calling us to is not easy, but as he provides the open doors and we walk through in obedience and faith, I know that he will meet us with exactly what we need for each circumstance. I think I would rather be on this journey with him than sitting safely in my little box waiting for nothing.

Hiding in God

2008-07-06T06:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I heard the story of a family who adopted an older foster child. This child ended up molesting all the natural children in the home. But that information didn't come out until all the children were grown. At the time I heard this story, it happened that I was watching my oldest, Rebecca, and her friend play on the Webkins website. Both Rebecca and her friend are home schooled. So there is a level of innocence in them that public school children just don't get to have. In fact, it's one of the reasons that I love home schooling. So as I sat there imagining that my daughter could be hurt in the same way these other children were, the fear that I have faced since well before we ever made the decision to fost-adopt and, in fact, what has kept me from wanting to ever bring troubled children into my home, came back stronger than ever. I went and found a private place where I could cry out to God without interruption. In a nut shell, I reminded God that this was not my idea in the first place, but his. I was very happy with my sheltered little family and was not asking for him to rock our world like this. Then I pleaded with him that if this is not his will for us, that he would undeniably shut the doors on us and not allow us to walk through them. The only way I want to go through with this is if God is the one leading us. Otherwise, it is foolishness. As I prayed, God once again brought the scripture to my mind that he gave me a couple of years ago to pray specifically over Matthew, but vicariously over our whole family, since Matthew is our spiritual head. It's also one of the scriptures that I heard at church the night I surrendered to this idea of God's. The whole chapter is pretty much about not just going through the motions of religion, such as fasting, but putting feet to your faith.

Is. 58:5-9
vs. 5 Is this really the kind of fasting I want?
Do I want a day when people merely humble themselves,
bowing their heads like a reed
and stretching out on sackcloth and ashes?
Is this really what you call a fast,
a day that is pleasing to the Lord?
vs. 6 No, this is the kind of fast I want.
I want you to remove the sinful chains,
to tear away the ropes of the burdensome yoke,
to set free the oppressed,
and to break every burdensome yoke.
vs. 7 I want you to share your food with the hungry
and to provide shelter for homeless, oppressed people.
When you see someone naked, clothe him!
Don’t turn your back on your own flesh and blood!
vs. 8 Then your light will shine like the sunrise;
your restoration will quickly arrive;
your godly behavior will go before you,
and the Lord’s splendor will be your rear guard.
vs. 9a Then you will call out, and the Lord will respond;
you will cry out, and he will reply, ‘Here I am.’

I could put more, but you get the idea. As I was crying out before him, that's what he spoke to me, "Is this not the kind of fast that I require?" What can I say to that? This is the fast he has required of us. My heart once again at peace, I committed myself to follow him wherever he leads, trusting him to protect and guide us - and especially to keep us from evil and close the doors if we are going in the wrong direction.

That night during worship at church, our pastor shared the story of how Elijah confronted the prophets of Baal. How the priests of Baal did everything they could to get him to consume their offering, including self mutilation, yet nothing happened. Then Elijah prepared his sacrifice by not only providing the altar, wood, and offering, but also by digging a trench around the altar and soaking the whole thing with water. Then he asked God to accept his offering, whereupon God proceeded to send fire from heaven that consumed the offering, wood, stones of the alter and all the water. I felt challenged that this is the attitude I need to take towards this season in our lives. I don't have to try to make this work out. I pretty much just need to do what is right before me and even to "pour water" on it, refusing to try to help God make this possible. Then I am allowing God to show his power and glory, not mine. This is especially true in the financial area, since that is probably the biggest open and closed door at this point. As I was praying over all this, I gave the financial provision back to God and told him that if he wants to make this happen, it will have to be him.

At this juncture, we have a little over $300 of the $520 that we need to finance the first part of our foster and adoption certification. After church, I kid you not, we were given a check for $100 specifically for the adoption. Our friends who gave it to us said that the husband had felt lead to give it to us. But the wife forgot about it until they saw me at church that night. Then she felt like they were supposed to give it to us that night. I was completely and totally undone. Here I was pleading for closed doors to keep us from going the wrong way, and God just reconfirmed that the doors are not closed! God's timing never ceases to amaze me. They had no idea the process I had gone through that day, but they listened to the Lord and blessed us with much more than $100. They really were the hand of God's blessing and approval for us last night.

So I wanted to share that story with you. God is so good that even though I walk through the valley of shadow and death, I will fear no evil, for he is with me.

On a side note, I had an ultrasound today to try to help determine the size of our baby that is due on the 21st. Since Ethan was 9 lbs. 9 oz. and almost got stuck, the doctor is being more cautious about letting this baby get too big for me to push out. Anyway, he is as cute as can be. His cheeks are so chubby and he seems to have Joel's nose. The whole time we were looking at him, his little lips were puckered in that cute little pucker that newborns do. It made me want to kiss them. I have had a hard time grasping the reality that we really are having another baby. So it was good for my heart to get to see him and know that this little person is part of our family.

Please pray for wisdom for us and the doctor. If the doctor feels that the baby is getting too big, he will want to do a C-section rather than endanger me or the baby. But I have had all my children naturally and really would prefer not to go the C-section route. Honsetly, this baby doesn't feel as big as Ethan did. So I am pretty comfortable with going the natural route. But we will need agreement on this between us and the doctor. Also, I felt a few weeks ago that God gave me faith to pray for the baby to come at 39 weeks instead of 40+. Although this could just me the desperate cry of a woman who's really tired of being pregnant, I did feel like it was a God thought, not mine. So that is what I am praying for, but planning on going full term. If you would also pray with me for 39 weeks, that would be awesome. God is never still or silent, is he? :) Have a blessed week!

The Start

2008-06-29T21:25:00.000-07:00

This is the beginning of our journey to adopt. We have already been blessed with five children of our own. We have Rebecca (9), Daniel (7), Joel (4), Ethan (2) and one due in about three weeks. Six weeks ago, adoption was the furthest thing from my mind. I had always thought that if we were to adopt we would get a baby. But that just didn't excite me. So since I had no passion for it, I figured that we just were not called to adoption. I discredited the idea of bringing older children into our home, because their history probably would not be that great. And I didn't want to endanger our existing children. But God started opening my heart to it back in May and he didn't relent. He gave us this crazy idea to adopt older children that set my heart on fire until I could do nothing but say yes to his plan. After a late night talk, Matthew and I agreed to pursue foster-adoption and see how far God wants us to go with it.

We decided to go through Koinonia Family Services. (www.kfh.org) They are a faith based organization who acts as a middle man between us and the state foster care program. We have heard only good things about them through our church. So we knew this would be the way to go. The director of adoption services with Koinonia goes to our church. So I put a call in to him and he was very encouraging to me that as we take each step in obedience to God, he will open and close the doors as he wills. So we sent in our application and began the wait for them to process it.

Over the next week, I went from being excited to terrified to excited again about this new journey we are on. But God is so good to reassure us of our path. One week after I had sent in the application, I was at a birthday party. While I was there, I met a couple who had adopted their two year old son. Not only that, but they are actually the first couple to have ever adopted through Koinonia! You see, Koinonia used to be a foster care agency only. About two years ago, they added adoption services to their program and this family was the first one to complete an adoption through them. I once again was amazed at how God was confirming his desire for us to pursue this. I went away from the birthday party with a new excitement.

Since then, I have been able to talk to the person who will be coordinating our foster placement. She is coming to our house the 10th of July to do an initial assessment of the home and what we will need to do to make it ready for a foster child. We know there are things like having all medicines, cleaning supplies, yard chemicals and paint locked up. And we'll find out what else we need to do at that meeting. We also are going to be attending our first class, which is a foster care orientation class on July 12th. So we are very excited to see this dream moving forward.

We are not sure where the money we need for all this will come from. The fees alone for various classes and paperwork total $740. We need $570 of this pretty quick. However, we have been able to come up with about $320 of it so far. And God is the one who came up with this whole idea in the first place. So if he wants it to happen, he will provide what we need when we need it.

We also need a bigger vehicle. We could technically take on one foster child with our current van. Our family would just have to take two cars places if we were to all go somewhere together. But we're really hoping for two children, a sibling pair. So a bigger van seems pretty important. I have found that we could get a used van pool van from Enterprise for about $15,000. I have NO idea where we're going to get that money from. But again, God will show us the way as he sees fit. So I'm more excited to see how God intends to show his glory than worried about it happening. Who knows but that someone has a van sitting there waiting to give it to us? :)

I am going to be spending the next two weeks working like crazy to get as much paperwork as I can done before our first walk through. But if anything interesting happens, I'll be sure to post it. Please, pray for us as we are not only preparing for the birth of our new baby, but also the birth of a new dream.