Muddy Waters

This week we have started our interview process with our social worker, Darryl. It has been interesting as he has probed into many areas of our life. We knew it was going to be pretty invasive. And we both are comfortable with being transparent. Being members of the Rock has really prepared us for that! But imagine revisiting every major issue you've faced, starting with your childhood and continuing into your marriage. That's what this week has been. It's been quite an emotional ride. I didn't realize how many issues I had! Last night, I was thinking that I felt like a pool of water that was nice and clear. But at the bottom was all this dirt that had settled over time. Then, Darryl came and stirred up the dirt and made my water all muddy. Not too fun. But I'm very grateful to be talking through these things now, because Darryl is pointing out how it could affect us with foster kids. And how these kids have learned to play adults and could try to use our issues against us.

We also have discussed what we are hoping for in the kids we are bringing in. One major concern I have had is if I would have the ability to home school them. We have heard that it's pretty much not allowed. So I was very encouraged that, as long as the foster kids' social worker is ok with it, we will be allowed to home school them. Darryl said that some social workers recognize the benefits of home school and others don't. But that will just be a determining factor on whether or not we can accept certain kids. As we've been going through this process, my heart has always leaned very strongly toward elementary aged kids. But I didn't see how I could do both a home school schedule and a public school one at the same time. So I was very happy to hear that I may not have to do that.

We also discussed the race of the children we will be getting. Most of the kids that Koinonia gets are either black or Hispanic. As we talked, we realized that we already have a good network of Hispanic people around us. We have an amazing Christian family across the street from us who are biracial. The mom is full blood Mexican and the dad is American. They speak both languages in the home as well. So the kids are bilingual. They could be a great resource for us as we endeavor to help our new kids feel comfortable. We also know some great Hispanic families at church, which will help. So, it's looking like we might be recommended for Hispanic kids over black ones.

We're meeting with Darryl again tomorrow. I'm hoping that we can get done with my portion of it, and possibly Matthew's. Darryl said that this process takes anywhere from 60-90 days. He has to take what we've talked about and write it up into a 15 page document, which will be available to social workers who are considering us for one of their kids. So, it takes some time for him to write and edit it, then let us proof read it and make any changes, etc. Using that guideline, it looks like it will be end of April to mid-May before we are finally ready to foster. However, that could be helpful because it would be nice for school to be out before the kids come to us. Then we can use the summer to get to know them and they us and integrate together before the demanding schedule of school time starts up again. Of course, this is all supposition. God alone knows what's really going to happen!