Moving Forward

We sold Matthew's old car today. It was pretty cool. I posted the ad on craigslist at 10am and the car was sold by noon. I guess that's what happens when you sell a car for $250! :) The great thing was that the family that bought it had their car stolen a couple of weeks ago. This family of six has been using the bus and walking. Can you imagine taking a grocery trip for six people and then trying to walk home with it all? Anyway, they were really excited about having a car again, even it the power windows, door locks and mirrors don't work, it leaks oil and power steering fluid over time, the engine smells funny and is not at all pretty. I hope it lasts them until they are able to buy a better car in the future. I was glad that it went to a family in need instead of someone who just wanted to part it out. We have been so blessed with the purchase of the Tank that it's nice to turn around and bless someone else. At least, I hope our old car is a blessing!

I also discovered that I had gotten a call from our social worker yesterday! His name is Darryl. We have met him at a couple of different classes and he seems like a really nice man. His story is interesting because he was adopted as a child in a closed adoption. Over the years he has searched for his birth family. He found his mom, but is having a hard time locating his dad. But since he is adopted, he has a unique perspective on fostering and adopting. He also is a huge advocate of open adoptions, because his path has been so difficult since the records are sealed. I'm hoping that we will be able to schedule our first meeting for next week.

Speaking of closed and open adoptions, we came into this with the metality of doing a closed adoption. But as we have learned more, we have discovered that an open adoption does not mean that the birth family will have full access to us. As far as I understand, we determine how much exposure, if any, that we want to have with the birth family. During the fostering phase, of course, there will be visitation, which will be decided on and coordinated by the social worker. And that will most likely happen in a more neutral location. But after adoption, we will decide how much contact to have with the birth family. It might be something like monthly visits. Or it could just be birthday and Christmas cards. Or it could be absolutely no contact if the situation warrants it. However, the open records will allow our children to know who their parents are and find them if they so desire as they get older. I'm not sure if closed adoptions even happen now a days because the benifits of open adoptions are so accepted.

The Tank

My kids have been asking every day this week, "Have we gotten the tax return yet?" So today I was very happy to announce to them this morning that we got the return and were ready to buy the van. It's been like waiting to go to Disneyland around here this past week. So, we rounded up and headed out to Danny's house.

While we were at Danny's house, we got a chance to know him and his family a little bit better. He told us some about what it was like growing up in Romania and how he came to America. We talked about big families and God's faithfulness. I think we could have talked all day, if we had the time. They just have the same heart as we do. And if we don't have enough in common, we also found out that he works at the grocery store right down the street from us! I have probably walked right past him a dozen times without knowing it. How amazing is that?! This van has really been so much more than a business transaction for us. It's been the beginning of a relationship.

So, we're ready. The final step to complete our certification is the interviews. I'm hoping to hear from our social worker at Koinonia soon. I'm hoping to find out who our social worker will be! But we have done everything that we can on our end of the deal. Now the adventure is really beginning!

A Little Update

So, a week ago we found the van we wanted to buy were planning on financing it that Thursday. Danny, the gentleman who is selling it to us, was going to be at the snow on Tuesday and Wednesday. So we weren't going to be able to finalize the deal until Thursday. On Wednesday, Matthew found out that he is getting a 5% pay cut because of the current economy. Because of that, we decided that instead of getting a loan on the van and using our tax return to pay off a home improvement loan that we have, we would to use the tax return to buy the van outright. Now, you may be asking, "Why is she boring me with all these financial details?" It's because of God's amazing timing! If Danny had not gone to the snow, we would have gotten the loan on Tuesday. Actually, we would have gotten it on Monday if it hadn't been President's Day. But because of both President's Day and the snow day, we were forced to wait until Thursday, which allowed us to find out about the pay cut and change our plans. God is so good!

In addition, Danny is willing to hold the van for us and wait until we get the tax return. And, I just found out that his wife felt the Lord lay on her heart to make sure that the van has a full tank of gas when we come get it! They are just as excited to be part of the blessing as we are to receive it.

God's leading in this process has been nothing short of miraculous. You know, Danny was the very first person that I ever called from craigslist. It's unbelievable. This whole thing is unbelievable.

Undone

If I were to pick one word to describe me right now, it would be undone. Seven months ago, we started this journey to adopt by simply saying yes, we were willing. In faith, we started the process of applying to Koinonia, knowing that if we were really hearing from God, he would provide the time and the means for it to happen. And sure enough, the money came in for us to pay for all the fees associated with becoming fost-adopt certified as well as all the home improvements we needed to make. That includes a new furniture set, as well as bedding and many other miscellaneous things. But all along, I have wondered about the van. The cost of all the other things was quite small compared to the van. So, we waited for tax season and wondered. But in the meantime, I was regularly on craigslist seeing what was out there and noticing that the vans that really looked good were all running at least $10,000, which is out of our price range.

Moving forward to now, we had our tax appointment on Friday and found out how much our return would be. It was good, but not $10,000. After doing some numbers, we decided that we really needed to keep it at or below $8000. There are a lot of Chevys out there for that, especially if it is really basic with not that many features and if it's an older model. So, Friday night I'm on craigslist again. I found a bunch of possibilities, but two stood out. One was a 1999 diesel with a leather interior sold by a dealer. The other was a 2005 being sold by a private party. Both were 12 passenger. So, after some financial consultation with my mom and mechanical consultation with my dad, I decided to call on the 2005. (Thanks, you two!)

Ok, so get this. I got on the phone with this guy named Danny. Turns out that he's selling this van on behalf of his church. They bought it for a couple of youth trips because it was cheaper to buy a van and use it a couple times and then sell it than it was to rent a van. Not a bad idea. Before the church owned it, the army did. So it has been meticulusouly maintained over it's lifetime, whereas a private party may not have maintained it as well. Danny is not only a Christian, but he is also an elder in his church AND he has seven kids of his own to boot! So he is totally excited to sell it to us and even offered to knock a few hundred off of his asking price.

Ok, so, the test drive. Matthew drove it first. We drove it to our mechanic to have him look at it. Matthew really liked it and was sold by the time we got to the shop. We told the mechanic a few things that we had noticed. One thing that had me concerned was some water staining on the ceiling in the back. I asked him to take a look at that because I don't want a leaking van! We headed home and an hour and a half later we get a call. "The van looks great! It's in great condition!" He was really impressed. And the leakage concern? Apparently, the trim had come loose back there and a bit in the front. So they just popped it back in for us since they were there. (Thank you Franklin's Family Auto. They are the best mechanic ever.)

While we waited for Franklin's to look at the van, I got on Kelley Blue Book. I put in all the features and the condition of the van and it came up as worth $9745 in excellent condition or $9070 in good condition, which is where I would put it. You know how much they are asking? $7600.

You know those features I was talking about doing without? This van has them. All the doors, windows and mirrors are electronic. The side mirrors have a defrost function. There is heat and a/c throughout, not just in the front. It has dual front airbags. And the passenger airbag even has a switch so that I can turn it off if I need to. It's ready for a tow package, if we ever decide to go that route. There's a little button thingy that you can push to switch it into tow mode, whatever that is. There is even a running board on the driver's side for my short legs! Really, this is way more than I could have imagined. The only thing that it doesn't have is a CD player. But it does have a radio, so if we ever decide to install a CD player it will not be a problem. In the meantime, I'll be listening to Air 1 a lot. Well, I already listen to Air 1, but it sounded good to say that.

I got to drive it back to the owner. The first time that the enormity of this van hit me was when I adjusted the side mirrors. The van kept going and going further and further back. Then I adjusted the rear view mirror and noticed that I was centering the far distant windows in the reflection. Wow, it's long. And I was thinking I might want a 15 passenger. But I found that I was completely comfortable driving it. I felt a little short, well, a lot short. I was imagining how I must look to someone looking in from the outside, barely peeking over the steering wheel. Kind of a comical picture, if you ask me. I was thinking that I might need to use a pillow to help me out in that area, but we'll see. The next thing I noticed was how small our van out in front of me looked. Really, it looked small. I think we'll start calling our mini-van the sports car. That's how small it looked from my lofty vantagepoint.

As I was driving, it hit me that this is really happening. And that it's happening far beyond and in a much better way that I ever expected. Sound like someone you know? "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him [be] glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. " (Eph 3:20-21) This is exceedingly abundantly above all I could have asked or thought. This journey of faith has been, and it continuing to be, the biggest test of faith that I have ever experienced. I can't tell you the fear I have battled that we might not be hearing God right, that maybe we really are crazy and going off the deep end. But, in the very beginning, we prayed that God would open the doors if this is what we are supposed to do and close them if not. And it has been nothing, nothing but open doors. I am amazed. I am undone. I cried most of the way back to the owner's house. To top it off, a week ago, a dear friend of mine woke up in the morning with this verse for me. "Charm is deceptve, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Prov. 31:30. (Then she said that I get extra praise because not only do I fear the Lord, but I am also beautiful. :) Ok, I'll recieve that.) So, we're turning into the neighborhood, almost to the owner's place and I'm listening to Air 1. They have these spots called "Lifechange Moments" and one came on. You guessed it. The verse was Proverbs 31:30. That did it for me. It could have been any verse in the Bible, but God put that one on for me. It was like God's stamp of approval on me, us, and this insane journey that we're on.

I do get scared. I'm scared of the struggle of bringing two hurting children into our home. I'm scared of the issues that we might have to face. I'm scared of the negative impact it could have on our kids. I'm scared of getting burned out. But then I see God obviously leading us, clearly making our path straight. And all I can say is, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Ps. 23:4. God has called us to this journey and he will not abandon us on the way. In fact, I would rather be out on a limb with God than denying his calling and staying in the security of the trunk of the tree. It's safer on the limb. :)

So, we have to finalize the sale. And that might not happen until Thursday. I might just amaze you with another post later this week when we have the van. But most likely I'll be getting my dream car this week! Unless, of course, God has a different plan. ;)

Life Goes On

The last couple of months have been busy...as usual. :) As far as the fost-adopt process goes, we worked over the holidays on finishing up things around the house to be ready for our final home inspection. We just had that inspection two weeks ago and passed. Yay! So that means our home meets all the safety requirements that the state of California has for foster homes. We also took our last class a week ago. Now our file has been sent to the adoption department of Koinonia. We should be hearing from them in the next few weeks and start the interview process.

Tomorrow we are going out to look at a 12 passenger Chevy Express 2500. After much deliberation, we are pretty sure that we are going to buy a 12 passenger and not a 15 passenger. With our current family, we will have five extra seats in the van. But if we get two foster kids, that will take us down to 3 extra seats. Give us a few years and we'll probably have those filled, too! :)

In other news, Rebecca turned 10 earlier this month. We celebrated by inviting five of her friends to a Princess Laser Tag party, starting at a local laser tag venue and then moving to our house for gifts and DQ ice cream cake with the extended family. It was all a blast and a very memorable 10th birthday for her. She asked for money to buy a Nintendo DS and ended up with enough to buy the DS and two games! Talk about a score! I don't think I get that much money on my birthday! But I think that I need a DS now.

I sure am proud of my kids. It is an amazing journey to pour into your kids day after day for years and then finally begin to see it bear fruit in their lives. Both Rebecca and Daniel are just maturing so much right now. I'm starting to see who they are going to be as adults and it's pretty cool.

Remember the Unborn

I'll be honest. My heart grieves at the turn our country took today. I have so many reasons why I would not have had Barack Obama become president. But if there is no other reason, it would be because of the unborn. President-Elect Obama said on July 17, 2007 that the first thing he would do as president is sign the Freedom of Choice Act. This Act will essentially nullify the state laws and restrictions that have been placed on abortion, including parental notification, restrictions on government funds and, tragically, the ban on partial birth abortion. As a result, our nation will see at least 125,000 more abortions per year, in addition to the 1.3 million that already take place. (http://www.lifenews.com/nat4359.html) This is a tragedy that grieves my heart more than I can express.

But even as I write this, I am listening to the International House of Prayer lift up Barack Obama before the Lord. And as much as my heart and human understanding lead me to grieve, I know that my Lord's leadership is perfect. He has given us this man for his purposes and his purposes are good. So, Father, I want to join in the prayers being lifted up for President-Elect Obama. Would you reveal yourself to him for who you truly are. Will you visit him with dreams and visions. Will you show him how great and wide and deep is your love for him. Thank you for what you are going to do through this man as he leads our nation. And thank you that you are faithful in all your ways.

I was so blessed today to hear from an amazing young woman regarding the abortion issue. Would you please take some time to hear her story?

Blessed Beyond Measure

It's been so long since I entered a blog that I decided I must write one today no matter what. So much has happened since I last wrote. The biggest event, of course, was giving birth. Aaron Justice Stroup was born on July 25th and weighed 8 lbs. 15 oz. That makes him six weeks old today. He is a great little guy who seems to know that he's the fifth and fits himself right in to our routine. He has always been a great sleeper at night, which has been a huge blessing for me. Right now he seems to go 7-8 hours between feedings on most nights. He also has started smiling at me and cooing a lot.

We also started school this week. It's going very well. I feel like God has grown me over the summer as far as how I approach teaching. I think that the things he has shown me are helping me to be more patient and better able to help the kids when they are stuck. Rebecca is in fourth grade, Daniel in third and Joel in kindergarten. Daniel started Switched on Schoolhouse this year, which he loves since it's computer based. He watched Rebecca do it all last year and was itching to start school. Joel is "officially" in school now and is quite a concientous worker. He is quite meticulous about his work and wants to get it just right - ahhh, a teacher's dream. I'm trying a new reading curriculum with him this year called "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons." So far I really, really like it. He's enjoying the lessons as well. It's almost like we're playing a game together and he's learning without realizing it.

I have had many people ask me about how the adoption process is going. Let's see, the last news I gave was our experience at the foster care orientation class. Since then, we've done many of the home improvements that we need to become certified. Matthew worked hard during his time home after the baby. (We were blessed to have him home for ten days!) He set up both Rebecca and Daniels' rooms so that they now have capacity for two kids in each. So if we get our dream of one boy and one girl, we are ready to go. He also installed seven smoke alarms, one in each bedroom, one in the bonus room and an extra one in the hallway. I'm so glad to have the alarms in all the bedrooms. He also built our painting shelves into lockable cabinets, as well as installing Tot Locks in the laundry room where we will be able to keep our medicines and dangerous chemicals. He installed a wire shelf above the washer and dryer so that we can keep non-toxic cleaning supplies easily accessable but still out of reach to little hands. And since he didn't have quite enough to do with all this work and helping take care of the kids, he also touched up all the paint around the house, including our baseboards, which were sorely in need of some fresh paint.

Probably the most exciting news, though, is that we have all the money we need to finish our certification process. About a month ago, we got an unexpected check in the mail that more than covers our expenses. We not only have enough for the fees and such, but we also have enough to but things like cute comforters for the beds and the extra dresser that we need for Daniel's room. Finances have been the biggest determining factor in all this and have also been something that we are looking at to show us if God is opening or closing doors. So far, the doors keep opening. Well, it's more like they are flinging as wide as they can. People told me that if this was what God wanted, the finances would never be an issue. So it's very exciting seeing him do his work.

Now that we have the funds, we really need to get over to the police station and get our background checks started. Maybe we can go over there today...hmmm. Anyway, with that started, there will be some other minor paperwork things to do and the home improvements to finish. But we are pretty close to being ready to start our home study process. Very exciting! We also are scheduled to attend an adoption orientation class, which I'm really looking forward to. It will be similar to the foster care class, but with a focus on adoption, of course. I have been so impressed with how Koinonia really prepares their families. I can't tell you how much of a comfort it is to me to have their covering over us.

One more thing, we still need a 12 passenger van. I think that of all the big vans out there, I would like a Cheverolet Express the most. We're thinking that with our tax return next year we should be able to pay at least a good chunk of money down on one and only finance a small portion of it. Actually, my prayer is that we would find one that we can pay cash for. Anyway, last night I was at a meeting for our home school co-op and was sharing with one of the other moms about how God has provided finanically for this adoption. I added that all we need now is the van and she said that she would have her husband start looking out for one. I didn't even realize that he was in the car business, but I'm very excited at the prospect of having someone we know who is also plugged in to selling cars help us out. I don't know if anything will come of it or if God's provision will come from elsewhere. But I certainly feel God's support through that offer. On a side note, I never realized how many Chevy Express Vans there were out there! But now I see them all the time. Most of them are cargo vans. But the other day I saw a passenger one going down the road. You know, those things aren't small. And there's really nothing cool about driving one around. But I have never wanted to drive a vehicle like I want to drive one of those. :) I can just see myself going here and there in my minibus full of kids. It'll be like a party going down the road! I love having a big family!

Thank you, everyone who is praying. We are blessed beyond measure.

Oh, one more thing. Check out one of my friend's blogs at www.1boast.net. You'll be amazed at their story!