For a quick update - we expect to have one more interview with Darryl. Then he just needs to finish up our profile and we'll be certified!
This post, however, is to draw awareness to a new orphanage in Ethiopia. This orphanage is dedicated to saving the lives of children who have been marked to die for various reasons. You can learn more by going to www.drawnfromwater.org. Please take a moment to watch this video and pray about whether God would have you help in this effort.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Muddy Waters
This week we have started our interview process with our social worker, Darryl. It has been interesting as he has probed into many areas of our life. We knew it was going to be pretty invasive. And we both are comfortable with being transparent. Being members of the Rock has really prepared us for that! But imagine revisiting every major issue you've faced, starting with your childhood and continuing into your marriage. That's what this week has been. It's been quite an emotional ride. I didn't realize how many issues I had! Last night, I was thinking that I felt like a pool of water that was nice and clear. But at the bottom was all this dirt that had settled over time. Then, Darryl came and stirred up the dirt and made my water all muddy. Not too fun. But I'm very grateful to be talking through these things now, because Darryl is pointing out how it could affect us with foster kids. And how these kids have learned to play adults and could try to use our issues against us.
We also have discussed what we are hoping for in the kids we are bringing in. One major concern I have had is if I would have the ability to home school them. We have heard that it's pretty much not allowed. So I was very encouraged that, as long as the foster kids' social worker is ok with it, we will be allowed to home school them. Darryl said that some social workers recognize the benefits of home school and others don't. But that will just be a determining factor on whether or not we can accept certain kids. As we've been going through this process, my heart has always leaned very strongly toward elementary aged kids. But I didn't see how I could do both a home school schedule and a public school one at the same time. So I was very happy to hear that I may not have to do that.
We also discussed the race of the children we will be getting. Most of the kids that Koinonia gets are either black or Hispanic. As we talked, we realized that we already have a good network of Hispanic people around us. We have an amazing Christian family across the street from us who are biracial. The mom is full blood Mexican and the dad is American. They speak both languages in the home as well. So the kids are bilingual. They could be a great resource for us as we endeavor to help our new kids feel comfortable. We also know some great Hispanic families at church, which will help. So, it's looking like we might be recommended for Hispanic kids over black ones.
We're meeting with Darryl again tomorrow. I'm hoping that we can get done with my portion of it, and possibly Matthew's. Darryl said that this process takes anywhere from 60-90 days. He has to take what we've talked about and write it up into a 15 page document, which will be available to social workers who are considering us for one of their kids. So, it takes some time for him to write and edit it, then let us proof read it and make any changes, etc. Using that guideline, it looks like it will be end of April to mid-May before we are finally ready to foster. However, that could be helpful because it would be nice for school to be out before the kids come to us. Then we can use the summer to get to know them and they us and integrate together before the demanding schedule of school time starts up again. Of course, this is all supposition. God alone knows what's really going to happen!
We also have discussed what we are hoping for in the kids we are bringing in. One major concern I have had is if I would have the ability to home school them. We have heard that it's pretty much not allowed. So I was very encouraged that, as long as the foster kids' social worker is ok with it, we will be allowed to home school them. Darryl said that some social workers recognize the benefits of home school and others don't. But that will just be a determining factor on whether or not we can accept certain kids. As we've been going through this process, my heart has always leaned very strongly toward elementary aged kids. But I didn't see how I could do both a home school schedule and a public school one at the same time. So I was very happy to hear that I may not have to do that.
We also discussed the race of the children we will be getting. Most of the kids that Koinonia gets are either black or Hispanic. As we talked, we realized that we already have a good network of Hispanic people around us. We have an amazing Christian family across the street from us who are biracial. The mom is full blood Mexican and the dad is American. They speak both languages in the home as well. So the kids are bilingual. They could be a great resource for us as we endeavor to help our new kids feel comfortable. We also know some great Hispanic families at church, which will help. So, it's looking like we might be recommended for Hispanic kids over black ones.
We're meeting with Darryl again tomorrow. I'm hoping that we can get done with my portion of it, and possibly Matthew's. Darryl said that this process takes anywhere from 60-90 days. He has to take what we've talked about and write it up into a 15 page document, which will be available to social workers who are considering us for one of their kids. So, it takes some time for him to write and edit it, then let us proof read it and make any changes, etc. Using that guideline, it looks like it will be end of April to mid-May before we are finally ready to foster. However, that could be helpful because it would be nice for school to be out before the kids come to us. Then we can use the summer to get to know them and they us and integrate together before the demanding schedule of school time starts up again. Of course, this is all supposition. God alone knows what's really going to happen!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Moving Forward
We sold Matthew's old car today. It was pretty cool. I posted the ad on craigslist at 10am and the car was sold by noon. I guess that's what happens when you sell a car for $250! :) The great thing was that the family that bought it had their car stolen a couple of weeks ago. This family of six has been using the bus and walking. Can you imagine taking a grocery trip for six people and then trying to walk home with it all? Anyway, they were really excited about having a car again, even it the power windows, door locks and mirrors don't work, it leaks oil and power steering fluid over time, the engine smells funny and is not at all pretty. I hope it lasts them until they are able to buy a better car in the future. I was glad that it went to a family in need instead of someone who just wanted to part it out. We have been so blessed with the purchase of the Tank that it's nice to turn around and bless someone else. At least, I hope our old car is a blessing!
I also discovered that I had gotten a call from our social worker yesterday! His name is Darryl. We have met him at a couple of different classes and he seems like a really nice man. His story is interesting because he was adopted as a child in a closed adoption. Over the years he has searched for his birth family. He found his mom, but is having a hard time locating his dad. But since he is adopted, he has a unique perspective on fostering and adopting. He also is a huge advocate of open adoptions, because his path has been so difficult since the records are sealed. I'm hoping that we will be able to schedule our first meeting for next week.
Speaking of closed and open adoptions, we came into this with the metality of doing a closed adoption. But as we have learned more, we have discovered that an open adoption does not mean that the birth family will have full access to us. As far as I understand, we determine how much exposure, if any, that we want to have with the birth family. During the fostering phase, of course, there will be visitation, which will be decided on and coordinated by the social worker. And that will most likely happen in a more neutral location. But after adoption, we will decide how much contact to have with the birth family. It might be something like monthly visits. Or it could just be birthday and Christmas cards. Or it could be absolutely no contact if the situation warrants it. However, the open records will allow our children to know who their parents are and find them if they so desire as they get older. I'm not sure if closed adoptions even happen now a days because the benifits of open adoptions are so accepted.
I also discovered that I had gotten a call from our social worker yesterday! His name is Darryl. We have met him at a couple of different classes and he seems like a really nice man. His story is interesting because he was adopted as a child in a closed adoption. Over the years he has searched for his birth family. He found his mom, but is having a hard time locating his dad. But since he is adopted, he has a unique perspective on fostering and adopting. He also is a huge advocate of open adoptions, because his path has been so difficult since the records are sealed. I'm hoping that we will be able to schedule our first meeting for next week.
Speaking of closed and open adoptions, we came into this with the metality of doing a closed adoption. But as we have learned more, we have discovered that an open adoption does not mean that the birth family will have full access to us. As far as I understand, we determine how much exposure, if any, that we want to have with the birth family. During the fostering phase, of course, there will be visitation, which will be decided on and coordinated by the social worker. And that will most likely happen in a more neutral location. But after adoption, we will decide how much contact to have with the birth family. It might be something like monthly visits. Or it could just be birthday and Christmas cards. Or it could be absolutely no contact if the situation warrants it. However, the open records will allow our children to know who their parents are and find them if they so desire as they get older. I'm not sure if closed adoptions even happen now a days because the benifits of open adoptions are so accepted.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The Tank
My kids have been asking every day this week, "Have we gotten the tax return yet?" So today I was very happy to announce to them this morning that we got the return and were ready to buy the van. It's been like waiting to go to Disneyland around here this past week. So, we rounded up and headed out to Danny's house.While we were at Danny's house, we got a chance to know him and his family a little bit better. He told us some about what it was like growing up in Romania and how he came to America. We talked about big families and God's faithfulness. I think we could have talked all day, if we had the time. They just have the same heart as we do. And if we don't have enough in common, we also found out that he works at the grocery store right down the street from us! I have probably walked right past him a dozen times without knowing it. How amazing is that?! This van has really been so much more than a business transaction for us. It's been the beginning of a relationship.
So, we're ready. The final step to complete our certification is the interviews. I'm hoping to hear from our social worker at Koinonia soon. I'm hoping to find out who our social worker will be! But we have done everything that we can on our end of the deal. Now the adventure is really beginning!
Monday, February 23, 2009
A Little Update
So, a week ago we found the van we wanted to buy were planning on financing it that Thursday. Danny, the gentleman who is selling it to us, was going to be at the snow on Tuesday and Wednesday. So we weren't going to be able to finalize the deal until Thursday. On Wednesday, Matthew found out that he is getting a 5% pay cut because of the current economy. Because of that, we decided that instead of getting a loan on the van and using our tax return to pay off a home improvement loan that we have, we would to use the tax return to buy the van outright. Now, you may be asking, "Why is she boring me with all these financial details?" It's because of God's amazing timing! If Danny had not gone to the snow, we would have gotten the loan on Tuesday. Actually, we would have gotten it on Monday if it hadn't been President's Day. But because of both President's Day and the snow day, we were forced to wait until Thursday, which allowed us to find out about the pay cut and change our plans. God is so good!
In addition, Danny is willing to hold the van for us and wait until we get the tax return. And, I just found out that his wife felt the Lord lay on her heart to make sure that the van has a full tank of gas when we come get it! They are just as excited to be part of the blessing as we are to receive it.
God's leading in this process has been nothing short of miraculous. You know, Danny was the very first person that I ever called from craigslist. It's unbelievable. This whole thing is unbelievable.
In addition, Danny is willing to hold the van for us and wait until we get the tax return. And, I just found out that his wife felt the Lord lay on her heart to make sure that the van has a full tank of gas when we come get it! They are just as excited to be part of the blessing as we are to receive it.
God's leading in this process has been nothing short of miraculous. You know, Danny was the very first person that I ever called from craigslist. It's unbelievable. This whole thing is unbelievable.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Undone
If I were to pick one word to describe me right now, it would be undone. Seven months ago, we started this journey to adopt by simply saying yes, we were willing. In faith, we started the process of applying to Koinonia, kn
owing that if we were really hearing from God, he would provide the time and the means for it to happen. And sure enough, the money came in for us to pay for all the fees associated with becoming fost-adopt certified as well as all the home improvements we needed to make. That includes a new furniture set, as well as bedding and many other miscellaneous things. But all along, I have wondered about the van. The cost of all the other things was quite small compared to the van. So, we waited for tax season and wondered. But in the meantime, I was regularly on craigslist seeing what was out there and noticing that the vans that really looked good were all running at least $10,000, which is out of our price range.
Moving forward to now, we had our tax appointment on Friday and found out how much our return would be. It was good, but not $10,000. After doing some numbers, we decided that we really needed to keep it at or below $8000. There are a lot of Chevys out there for that, especially if it is really basic with not that many features and if it's an older model. So, Friday night I'm on craigslist again. I found a bunch of possibilities, but two stood out. One was a 1999 diesel with a leather interior sold by a dealer. The other was a 2005 being sold by a private party. Both were 12 passenger. So, after some financial consultation with my mom and mechanical consultation with my dad, I decided to call on the 2005. (Thanks, you two!)
Ok, so get this. I got on the phone with this guy named Danny. Turns out that he's selling this van on behalf of his church. They bought it for a couple of youth trips because it was cheaper to buy a van and use it a couple times and then sell it than it was to rent a van. Not a bad idea. Before the church owned it, the army did. So it has been meticulusouly maintained over it's lifetime, whereas a private party may not have maintained it as well. Danny is not only a Christian, but he is also an elder in his church AND he has seven kids of his own to boot! So he is totally excited to sell it to us and even offered to knock a few hundred off of his asking price.
Ok, so, the test drive. Matthew drove it first. We drove it to our mechanic to have him look at it. Matthew really liked it and was sold by the time we got to the shop. We told the mechanic a few things that we had noticed. One thing that had me concerned was some water staining on the ceiling in the back. I asked him to take a look at that because I don't want a leaking van! We headed home and an hour and a half later we get a call. "The van looks great! It's in great condition!" He was really impressed. And the leakage concern? Apparently, the trim had come loose back there and a bit in the front. So they just popped it back in for us since they were there. (Thank you Franklin's Family Auto. They are the best mechanic ever.)
While we waited for Franklin's to look at the van, I got on Kelley Blue Book. I put in all the features and the condition of the van and it came up as worth $9745 in excellent condition or $9070 in good condition, which is where I would put it. You know how much they are asking? $7600.
You know those features I was talking about doing without? This van has them. All the doors, windows and mirrors are electronic. The side mirrors have a defrost function
. There is heat and a/c throughout, not just in the front. It has dual front airbags. And the passenger airbag even has a switch so that I can turn it off if I need to. It's ready for a tow package, if we ever decide to go that route. There's a little button thingy that you can push to switch it into tow mode, whatever that is. There is even a running board on the driver's side for my short legs! Really, this is way more than I could have imagined. The only thing that it doesn't have is a CD player. But it does have a radio, so if we ever decide to install a CD player it will not be a problem. In the meantime, I'll be listening to Air 1 a lot. Well, I already listen to Air 1, but it sounded good to say that.
I got to drive it back to the owner. The first time that the enormity of this van hit me was when I adjusted the side mirrors. The van kept going and going further and further back. Then I adjusted the rear view mirror and noticed that I was centering the far distant windows in the reflection. Wow, it's long. And I was thinking I might want a 15 passenger. But I found that I was completely comfortable driving it. I felt a little short, well, a lot short. I was imagining how I must look to someone looking in from the outside, barely peeking over the steering wheel. Kind of a comical picture, if you ask me. I was thinking that I might need to use a pillow to help me out in that area, but we'll see. The next thing I noticed was how small our van out in front of me looked. Really, it looked small. I think we'll start calling our mini-van the sports car. That's how small it looked from my lofty vantagepoint.
As I was driving, it hit me that this is really happening. And that it's happening far beyond and in a much better way that I ever expected. Sound like someone you know? "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him [be] glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. " (Eph 3:20-21) This is exceedingly abundantly above all I could have asked or thought. This journey of faith has been, and it continuing to be, the biggest test of faith that I have ever experienced. I can't tell you the fear I have battled that we might not be hearing God right, that maybe we really are crazy and going off the deep end. But, in the very beginning, we prayed that God would open the doors if this is what we are supposed to do and close them if not. And it has been nothing, nothing but open doors. I am amazed. I am undone. I cried most of the way back to the owner's house. To top it off, a week ago, a dear friend of mine woke up in the morning with this verse for me. "Charm is deceptve, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Prov. 31:30. (Then she said that I get extra praise because not only do I fear the Lord, but I am also beautiful. :) Ok, I'll recieve that.) So, we're turning into the neighborhood, almost to the owner's place and I'm listening to Air 1. They have these spots called "Lifechange Moments" and one came on. You guessed it. The verse was Proverbs 31:30. That did it for me. It could have been any verse in the Bible, but God put that one on for me. It was like God's stamp of approval on me, us, and this insane journey that we're on.
I do get scared. I'm scared of the struggle of bringing two hurting children into our home. I'm scared of the issues that we might have to face. I'm scared of the negative impact it could have on our kids. I'm scared of getting burned out. But then I see God obviously leading us, clearly making our path straight. And all I can say is, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Ps. 23:4. God has called us to this journey and he will not abandon us on the way. In fact, I would rather be out on a limb with God than denying his calling and staying in the security of the trunk of the tree. It's safer on the limb. :)
So, we have to finalize the sale. And that might not happen until Thursday. I might just amaze you with another post later this week when we have the van. But most likely I'll be getting my dream car this week! Unless, of course, God has a different plan. ;)
owing that if we were really hearing from God, he would provide the time and the means for it to happen. And sure enough, the money came in for us to pay for all the fees associated with becoming fost-adopt certified as well as all the home improvements we needed to make. That includes a new furniture set, as well as bedding and many other miscellaneous things. But all along, I have wondered about the van. The cost of all the other things was quite small compared to the van. So, we waited for tax season and wondered. But in the meantime, I was regularly on craigslist seeing what was out there and noticing that the vans that really looked good were all running at least $10,000, which is out of our price range.Moving forward to now, we had our tax appointment on Friday and found out how much our return would be. It was good, but not $10,000. After doing some numbers, we decided that we really needed to keep it at or below $8000. There are a lot of Chevys out there for that, especially if it is really basic with not that many features and if it's an older model. So, Friday night I'm on craigslist again. I found a bunch of possibilities, but two stood out. One was a 1999 diesel with a leather interior sold by a dealer. The other was a 2005 being sold by a private party. Both were 12 passenger. So, after some financial consultation with my mom and mechanical consultation with my dad, I decided to call on the 2005. (Thanks, you two!)
Ok, so get this. I got on the phone with this guy named Danny. Turns out that he's selling this van on behalf of his church. They bought it for a couple of youth trips because it was cheaper to buy a van and use it a couple times and then sell it than it was to rent a van. Not a bad idea. Before the church owned it, the army did. So it has been meticulusouly maintained over it's lifetime, whereas a private party may not have maintained it as well. Danny is not only a Christian, but he is also an elder in his church AND he has seven kids of his own to boot! So he is totally excited to sell it to us and even offered to knock a few hundred off of his asking price.
Ok, so, the test drive. Matthew drove it first. We drove it to our mechanic to have him look at it. Matthew really liked it and was sold by the time we got to the shop. We told the mechanic a few things that we had noticed. One thing that had me concerned was some water staining on the ceiling in the back. I asked him to take a look at that because I don't want a leaking van! We headed home and an hour and a half later we get a call. "The van looks great! It's in great condition!" He was really impressed. And the leakage concern? Apparently, the trim had come loose back there and a bit in the front. So they just popped it back in for us since they were there. (Thank you Franklin's Family Auto. They are the best mechanic ever.)
While we waited for Franklin's to look at the van, I got on Kelley Blue Book. I put in all the features and the condition of the van and it came up as worth $9745 in excellent condition or $9070 in good condition, which is where I would put it. You know how much they are asking? $7600.
You know those features I was talking about doing without? This van has them. All the doors, windows and mirrors are electronic. The side mirrors have a defrost function
. There is heat and a/c throughout, not just in the front. It has dual front airbags. And the passenger airbag even has a switch so that I can turn it off if I need to. It's ready for a tow package, if we ever decide to go that route. There's a little button thingy that you can push to switch it into tow mode, whatever that is. There is even a running board on the driver's side for my short legs! Really, this is way more than I could have imagined. The only thing that it doesn't have is a CD player. But it does have a radio, so if we ever decide to install a CD player it will not be a problem. In the meantime, I'll be listening to Air 1 a lot. Well, I already listen to Air 1, but it sounded good to say that.I got to drive it back to the owner. The first time that the enormity of this van hit me was when I adjusted the side mirrors. The van kept going and going further and further back. Then I adjusted the rear view mirror and noticed that I was centering the far distant windows in the reflection. Wow, it's long. And I was thinking I might want a 15 passenger. But I found that I was completely comfortable driving it. I felt a little short, well, a lot short. I was imagining how I must look to someone looking in from the outside, barely peeking over the steering wheel. Kind of a comical picture, if you ask me. I was thinking that I might need to use a pillow to help me out in that area, but we'll see. The next thing I noticed was how small our van out in front of me looked. Really, it looked small. I think we'll start calling our mini-van the sports car. That's how small it looked from my lofty vantagepoint.
As I was driving, it hit me that this is really happening. And that it's happening far beyond and in a much better way that I ever expected. Sound like someone you know? "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him [be] glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. " (Eph 3:20-21) This is exceedingly abundantly above all I could have asked or thought. This journey of faith has been, and it continuing to be, the biggest test of faith that I have ever experienced. I can't tell you the fear I have battled that we might not be hearing God right, that maybe we really are crazy and going off the deep end. But, in the very beginning, we prayed that God would open the doors if this is what we are supposed to do and close them if not. And it has been nothing, nothing but open doors. I am amazed. I am undone. I cried most of the way back to the owner's house. To top it off, a week ago, a dear friend of mine woke up in the morning with this verse for me. "Charm is deceptve, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Prov. 31:30. (Then she said that I get extra praise because not only do I fear the Lord, but I am also beautiful. :) Ok, I'll recieve that.) So, we're turning into the neighborhood, almost to the owner's place and I'm listening to Air 1. They have these spots called "Lifechange Moments" and one came on. You guessed it. The verse was Proverbs 31:30. That did it for me. It could have been any verse in the Bible, but God put that one on for me. It was like God's stamp of approval on me, us, and this insane journey that we're on.
I do get scared. I'm scared of the struggle of bringing two hurting children into our home. I'm scared of the issues that we might have to face. I'm scared of the negative impact it could have on our kids. I'm scared of getting burned out. But then I see God obviously leading us, clearly making our path straight. And all I can say is, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Ps. 23:4. God has called us to this journey and he will not abandon us on the way. In fact, I would rather be out on a limb with God than denying his calling and staying in the security of the trunk of the tree. It's safer on the limb. :)
So, we have to finalize the sale. And that might not happen until Thursday. I might just amaze you with another post later this week when we have the van. But most likely I'll be getting my dream car this week! Unless, of course, God has a different plan. ;)
Life Goes On
The last couple of months have been busy...as usual. :) As far as the fost-adopt process goes, we worked over the holidays
on finishing up things around the house to be ready for our final home inspection. We just had that inspection two weeks ago and passed. Yay! So that means our home meets all the safety requirements that the state of California has for foster homes. We also took our last class a week ago. Now our file has been sent to the adoption department of Koinonia. We should be hearing from them in the next few weeks and start the interview process.
Tomorrow we are going out to look at a 12 passenger Chevy Express 2500. After much deliberation, we are pretty sure that we are going to buy a 12 passenger and not a 15 passenger. With our current family, we will have five extra seats in the van. But if we get two foster kids, that will take us down to 3 extra seats. Give us a few years and we'll probably have those filled, too! :)
In other news, Rebecca turned 10 earlier this month. We celebrated by invitin
g five of her friends to a Princess Laser Tag party, starting at a local laser tag venue and then moving to our house for gifts and DQ ice cream cake with the extended family. It was all a blast and a very memorable 10th birthday for her. She asked for money to buy a Nintendo DS and ended up with enough to buy the DS and two games! Talk about a score! I don't think I get that much money on my birthday! But I think that I need a DS now.
I sure am proud of my kids. It is an amazing journey to pour into your kids day after day for years and then finally begin to see it bear fruit in their lives. Both Rebecca and Daniel are just maturing so much right now. I'm starting to see who they are going to be as adults and it's pretty cool.
on finishing up things around the house to be ready for our final home inspection. We just had that inspection two weeks ago and passed. Yay! So that means our home meets all the safety requirements that the state of California has for foster homes. We also took our last class a week ago. Now our file has been sent to the adoption department of Koinonia. We should be hearing from them in the next few weeks and start the interview process.Tomorrow we are going out to look at a 12 passenger Chevy Express 2500. After much deliberation, we are pretty sure that we are going to buy a 12 passenger and not a 15 passenger. With our current family, we will have five extra seats in the van. But if we get two foster kids, that will take us down to 3 extra seats. Give us a few years and we'll probably have those filled, too! :)
In other news, Rebecca turned 10 earlier this month. We celebrated by invitin
g five of her friends to a Princess Laser Tag party, starting at a local laser tag venue and then moving to our house for gifts and DQ ice cream cake with the extended family. It was all a blast and a very memorable 10th birthday for her. She asked for money to buy a Nintendo DS and ended up with enough to buy the DS and two games! Talk about a score! I don't think I get that much money on my birthday! But I think that I need a DS now.I sure am proud of my kids. It is an amazing journey to pour into your kids day after day for years and then finally begin to see it bear fruit in their lives. Both Rebecca and Daniel are just maturing so much right now. I'm starting to see who they are going to be as adults and it's pretty cool.
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