Numbering Eight

It's been a little over two weeks since we got Joshua. We've had two very busy and eventful weeks! Joshua is doing very well and feeling more and more like he's one of our own. He attached to me fairly quickly. I think that somehow he knew that I'm his new mommy, because he almost immediately turned to me for safety and comfort. We've spent the last couple of weeks training him in our rules and establishing who is the boss. He gets it. He challenges it, too. But what kid doesn't? The good thing is that he responds well to discipline and changes his heart. It's different, not spanking. I've come to appreciate the blessing of spanking a lot in the last couple of weeks. But, we're getting there without it. God is in this and he's not limited by the restrictions placed on us.

One interesting emotion I've encountered is the feeling of not wanting to invest so much of myself into him. Given that he is not going to be staying in our family forever, I have felt like he won't even benefit from the training he's receiving here. So I've had to remember that I am not doing this for any other reason than to obey the Lord. The final results are in his hand. And you never know what could happen in the future, or what kind of impact you could have that you never fathomed would take place.

I have been thinking about the scripture in Matthew 18:5-6 and 10.

"And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who trusts in me to lose faith, it would be better for that person to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around the neck.

Beware that you don't despise a single one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels are always in the presence of my heavenly Father."

There have been a few times in the last couple weeks when I've begun to despise having Joshua here. We've had some pretty challenging days, not just with him but with the other kids as well. Even though in my head I could tell myself that we're all adjusting to a new family member and he's adjusting to us, my emotions and my will were not so happy with the situation at times. But as I ponder God's heart for children, it changes my perspective on them. They go from being a burden and an emotional drain to being precious jewels in God's treasure chest. I have known most of this for a long time. But I think I'm finally beginning to "get" it.

The other day, I was talking to my chiropractor and he commented that training Joshua must be fun. "Fun?" I said, "What do you mean?" He answered, "Well, you get to see him change and grow and improve under your care." I had never thought of it that way before. I tend to get caught up in the daily grind of character formation and forget to step back and look at the amazing honor I have been given to mold six little lives into people that love the Lord and bless the people around them. The other day, as I was trying to get the kitchen clean and dinner made at the same time and the "little ones" as we call the younger three were trying unsuccessfully to get along, I took a moment to remember the conversation I had with my chiropractor and thank the Lord for this tremendous blessing and privilege. It was amazing how quickly my heart went from grousing and complaining to soaring in joy.

The Lord told us that he wanted to use this experience to make us into the family that he wants us to be. In fact, I have reminded him and myself of this several times in the last couple of weeks. I am glad to know that he is not wasting any time.