Compelled Pt. 3

This story does not have a happy ending. There are no winners here. Of all the characters in this tragedy, the baby is the most fortunate. That baby is with Jesus. The mother is the one who lost the most. She is somewhere right now, knowing what she did. How is she feeling? Can she sleep at night, or is she tormented, knowing what she did? Is she relieved that now she doesn't have to tell her dad? Does she feel empty, emotionless? Will she go to her grave with this secret never revealed and healed? Will this abortion be a catalyst to lead her to salvation? What about the father? Does he realize what he has done? Does he know that he has lost something precious? There are so many things I will never know this side of eternity.
The whole experience that day was gut wrenching. As I processed through what had happened, I found myself wondering how people have stayed at the front line of this battle for so many years. I know intercessors out there who have been praying at this clinic for a very long time, decades even. How do they go through this torture again and again? How can I go through this again? But as I think these thoughts, I know I will go back. I will stand at 1750 Wright Street again, because of hope. Maybe someday, a baby's life will be saved, a mother will avoid the guilt of murder, a father will know his child and a grandfather his grandchild because I stand out there. Most importantly, I know I will stand there because it makes me pray. I know I can pray at home. But nothing makes abortion more real to me than standing right there, watching women with empty eyes go into the clinic and knowing that in that building children are being murdered. I will go back.

I am honored to stand with several very faithful warriors in this battle. But I ask you to join the battle. Your presence at this clinic or one in your area is so important. Often, just seeing people out there will change a mother's mind. One day, I heard a young man, there with his girlfriend, exclaim, "I just can't do it! Look at all these people!" Sadly, that couple also lost their baby. You are needed. You are so needed. For every baby we see rescued, I would guess that roughly 40 are lost, just at this clinic. But that is one life. What is holding you back? We are all called to this battle. What is your part in it, to pray at a clinic, to give support to a pregnancy resource center, to talk your friend out of killing her baby? What is God calling you to do? How are you compelled?

Compelled Pt. 2

My encounter with the couple seeking abortion happened about 9:45 am. The abortionist was not at the clinic yet. She would not arrive until 10:30. So I knew there was still a window of opportunity for the young woman to change her mind. All the intercessors outside the clinic began to pray for her. We often see women arrive for abortions. But we don't always have such a window into why they would make this choice. This one became much more personal. I prayed and prayed, begging the Lord to change her heart, knowing that she had hardened herself for this, asking for her heart to be softened. I knew it was not too late for her to change her mind.  I watched as the abortionist pulled into the clinic. I didn't see the young woman leave.

My heart was breaking as I thought of the different levels of injustice happening right before me. Obviously, there was the injustice to the baby, who was being punished for existing. There there was the young mother, who was going to have to live with pain and regret about her decision this day. There is a father, who will never know his child, complicit in his child's death. Was he grieving for this child he will never know? Was he just relieved for a "quick fix" that will let him get away with this without getting caught? There was a grandfather, who didn't even know his grandchild existed and who had seemingly done something that would make his daughter afraid to even tell him about this child. My thoughts went on, thinking about how this mother had chosen to kill her child rather than face her father. She took the coward's way out, choosing to protect herself rather than her baby. Although in the end, she hurt herself as well. I thought of the wife, husband and parent this baby may have become one day. A whole generation gone because no one wanted to take responsibility. So a baby was murdered.

My thoughts came unbidden that I could have, should have, said something more. I could have asked how far along she is. I could have identified with her as a fellow expectant mother. I wished I had been holding the fetal model set. Perhaps if she had seen what her baby looked like right then, she could not have gone through with it. My heart broke as I faced my own incompetence and failure. As illogical as it was, I felt that I had failed this child and this mother.

I know there is likely nothing I could have said to change her mind. She was raised in a culture that glorifies promiscuity and offers abortion as an easy way to get out of trouble, to get rid of an inconvenience. It's a lie that too many believe until it is too late. There is no going back.

Part 3 is coming later today.

Compelled Pt. 1

I had decided to let this blog go. I have found I'm not a great blogger. I think I would rather live life than write about it! I've always been that way. The experience is way more fun than reflecting on it. But there are times I am compelled to write. When that happens, I realize that this blog may not be dead after all. Perhaps someone will stumble upon a post here and it will help them. I hope this post will help someone.

This week, the kids and I were praying and handing out material outside the abortion clinic where we go about twice a month. One couple stopped to take some brochures. I stepped up to their car and began with my standard speech.

"This is an abortion clinic. If you know someone who is pregnant, here is a list of resources where women can go for help so that they don't have to get an abortion. Also, it lists a ministry called Rachael's Vineyard that offers post abortion healing."

As I was speaking, my eyes fell to the phone in her lap. I saw that her GPS had directed her to the clinic, that she was going in. I asked, "Are you pregnant?" "Yes," was her reply. "Are you here for an abortion?" She nodded. My heart sank. "You don't have to do this. You will regret it for the rest of your life. May I ask why you feel like you need to get an abortion?"

"My dad."

"Does he know you are pregnant?"

"No."

"What will he do if he finds out?"

"I just know my dad. It won't be good if he finds out."

"You don't want to do this. You will regret it for the rest of your life."

"I've already decided. I've thought a lot about it and I've already decided."

"You have a new life inside you. You both (indicating her and her boyfriend) are responsible for this life you have created. This is your baby. You don't have to do this. Facing your father's wrath is nothing compared to the regret you will experience for the rest of your life. Adoption is always an option."

"I've already made up my mind."

At this point, I felt there was nothing more I could say, so I asked if I could pray for her before she went into the clinic. She got very uncomfortable at that and pointed out that we were blocking the street. I offered to move out of the way and as I stepped toward the curb, she shook her head no at me and they pulled into the clinic. I called after her, "I will be praying for you to change your mind!" That was the last I saw of her.

Part 2 will follow this afternoon.

Momentary, Light Affliction

We lost our baby to a miscarriage last week. We found out at my first prenatal appointment that the baby had not made it past 5 weeks. Two days later, I started bleeding and that Friday night I had the miscarriage. The only real complication medically was that I got dehydrated from blood loss and had to go to the ER. I'm also anemic, but they said that I'm no worse than after I've given birth. So I'm just taking iron to build my blood supply back up. I was grateful that I did not need a blood transfusion or a DNC.

The last week for me has been a week of grieving and healing. I caught a stomach virus in the ER and as a result have been quarantined to my room this week so that I don't spread it to the rest of the family. So far so good, no one else has gotten sick! It has been good in many ways to be stuck in my room. I was able to spend a day journaling and mourning the loss of my baby. I have also been able to do some planning and scheduling for our coming school year. I would not have taken the time to do that if I was busy having summer fun with the kids right now. So, although it has been hard on the family and I am greatly looking forward to the end of my confinement, I am also grateful that the Lord works all things for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

I wanted to share the Lord's goodness through this process. He has walked through this with us and I have never felt alone or unprotected. Throughout this pregnancy, things never seemed right to me. I had physical indications of this, but I also knew in my Spirit that this baby would never be born into this world. When I would speak of the baby coming in early March, it never felt like it would really happen. A few weeks before the miscarriage, I realized that I was worrying about this and prayed with my accountability partner confessing the sin of worry and surrendering this baby to the Lord's plan. Even on the day of my prenatal appointment, as I was filling out my preliminary paperwork, I remember wondering if all that paperwork was necessary. So when the doctor became concerned that he was not seeing a 10 week old baby, I was not surprised. It just confirmed what I already knew in my spirit. I am so very grateful that the Lord was preparing my heart ahead of time, especially that He has lead me through surrendering to Him before I lost the baby. How gently He leads us!

The miscarriage was fairly traumatic to me. I lost a lot of blood and that was scary. I was afraid I was going to die. I don't know if I was overreacting or not. I probably was. It was traumatic nonetheless. Something happened in the ER that was another sweet assurance of the Lord's covering over me. My mom had just hung up the phone from checking up on me when our pastor from Germany called. He said the Lord had laid our family on his heart and was calling to see if we were ok. She was able to share my situation with him and they prayed together for me. When she called a few minutes later and told us what happened, I just cried. I know the Lord is protecting me, but this was the confirmation I needed in that moment. He knows exactly what we need and He never fails us!

We have been and are continuing to be blessed this week with meals from family and friends. I did not expect this to happen, but we have meals coming well into next week. It is more than I could have asked for! I am honored to be the recipient of blessing from the Body of Christ. Even in this the Lord has more than supplied.

We are still grieving as the grief comes. But we are also filled with joy and peace that the Lord's plans for us are perfect, even when the plan is hard. I was thinking about something our pastor says. He says that if all our trials were placed in a big pile, we would each go to the pile and pick out the one that belongs to us. We would not reach for other people's problems, because our problems have been tailored to fit us and are exactly what we need. I think he is right.

2 Corinthians 4:17, 18 says, "For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." I want that "eternal weight of glory" in me. My Father in Heaven knows how best to work that in me, so I will press in to Him and trust that every trial He brings my way is part of His perfect plan for me. May He be glorified!

Blessing in Obedience

Someone asked me recently if I believed that the Holy Spirit could tell a couple when they are done having children, thus allowing them to cut off their fertility.  I didn't have a solid answer at the time.  But it prompted me to do some serious thinking about the subject.  For us, my husband and I believe in leaving that decision up to the Lord.  And I can name blessing after blessing in our own lives for having made that decision.  But what about the church in general?  I know people who have ended their fertility for seemingly very godly reasons.  One couple had four children already and loved having children.  But they wanted to open their home and hearts to adopting and felt lead to limit their biological children so that they could do that.  I have heard of families only having a couple of children so that they could be more free to minister in the church.  Then there are the women on whom pregnancy is very hard and those to whom pregnancy can be very dangerous.

After mulling this over for several weeks and not coming to a definitive conclusion in my own mind, I decided to do something intelligent.  I asked my husband his opinion.  And, as it typical for him, his answer was solid.  So after chewing on his answer for a couple more weeks, I thought I would share it here.

There is no commandment that says we may not end our fertility,  nothing we can point to that says, "If you end your fertility, you are sinning."  In other words, it's not in the Ten Commandments.  But if we look at Biblical principle, there is a very strong argument for having an open womb.  The first command ever given in the Bible is to "be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and subdue it."  That phrase "fill the earth" literally means to fill to overflowing, an overabundance.  So it's not a stretch to see that God has designed us to be very fruitful.  This command was given before sin had entered the world.  So this was God's plan in his perfect creation.  Since God is the same yesterday, today and forever, why would He change His plan just because we're in the 21st century?  His principles stand throughout time.  So if He has told us to fill the earth to overflowing, who are we to decide what is enough?

Infertility in the Bible is seen as a curse.  In Leviticus 20, childlessness is the punishment for incest.  Similarly, Michal, David's wife, had no children because she mocked David for dancing before the Ark of the Lord.  (2 Sam. 6:23)  Look at Genesis 20:18 and Hosea 9:11 for further examples of this.  If barrenness is a curse, why would someone want to bring that curse upon themselves?

Conversely, having children is seen as a blessing. Psalm 127 is very famous for speaking of children as a blessing.  Fertility is part of the blessing of obedience in Deuteronomy 7:14 and Exodus 23:26.  Part of the blessing given to Abraham and his descendants is many offspring.  (Genesis 22:17, 26:24, 28:3)

Also, the Lord is given full credit for the creation of life and the opening of the womb.  He is the one who enabled Rachel to have children. (Genesis 30:22) He also allowed Leah to have children because she was unloved in her marriage. (Genesis 29:31)   Isaac prayed for his wife, Rebekah, to have children and after that she became pregnant.  The Bible says, "The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant." (Gen 25:21)  If the Lord is the one who opens and closes the womb, then shouldn't we leave it up to Him?  Doesn't He know what we need so much better than we do?

There is much more that the Bible has to say about this, but it would fill a book.  So if you would like to read more, I highly recommend Nancy Campbell's "Be Fruitful and Multiply".  I was also blessed by "A Mom Just Like You" by Vicki Farris.  Although this book was not written around this subject, she does share her personal journey from using birth control to leaving it to the Lord.  There is also much more in her book that will be encouraging for mothers.

I used to be someone who thought those open womb people were crazy.  I found my children to be burdensome much of the time and I often felt trapped and unsatisfied in my role as a mother.  Only as I have learned to embrace God's vision for women and mothers have I entered into a season of unparalleled joy.  Through this experience, I have come to love obeying the Word of the Lord, whether or not I understand why.  I am now in pursuit of understanding everything His Word says about me, so that my life can be in line with the Lord in every way possible.  As I do this, the blessings keep increasing and increasing.  My home is becoming more and more righteous.  My children are happier, my marriage is unbelievably blessed and I am filled with joy and peace.  God's ways go against our human understanding.  They just don't make sense most of the time!  But when we obey, we can be sure that we will be blessed!

These are my "unplanned" blessings.  When I think that I could have prevented them from existing, my heart is grieved.  They bring our family so much joy.

Daniel's Baptism

Saturday was a very special day for our family, especially our oldest son Daniel.  He was baptized, thereby publicly declaring his intent to follow the Lord for the rest of his life.  The occasion was made even more special because my husband was the one to baptize him.  Since he is Daniel's spiritual leader, it seemed fitting for him to baptize his son.

Just before Daniel is dunked.

One year ago, Daniel could not have been baptized.  We had not seen the fruit of the Holy Spirit in his life.  But in September of last year, he surrendered his heart to the Lord.  We have seen him grow so much in this past year.  In many ways, he is not even the same person he used to be.  We are so proud of him and thrilled that he has decided to follow Jesus.

I missed the shot where he was under, but the deed has been done.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Daniel was in the paper

Daniel was in the Roseville Press-Tribune this Saturday.  He was interviewed for the National Day of Prayer.  The reporter asked him was he was praying for.  Daniel said he was praying for things like revival in America and the ending of abortion.  The reporter replied, "So no XBox or video games?"  This was his reply.  We were very proud of him.

All Things Girlish

We had a great time celebrating Rebecca's 13th birthday.

We started the fun with picking up some lunch and heading to the fountains to eat.

Then we went to the mall to get Rebecca's ears pierced.  She was sooo nervous!

But she survived.  It wasn't that bad!

She had several friends over for a very, very elegant birthday party.

They all worked together and make this beautiful picture wreath for her.

Each of them decorated a picture of themselves and attached it to the wreath.  It is a beautiful keepsake.

They had a delicious dinner of chicken nuggets with four sauces to choose from and caesar salad, followed by cheese fondue.

She received many pairs of earrings as gifts.

While they ate dinner and did their nails, they watched every episode of Anne of Green Gables.  The house was full of laughter and giggles at the antics of Anne.

We made Apricot Parfait for dessert.  I didn't realize it at first, but everything in this dish was home made, even the apricot preserves.

The girls put mourning flowers on the tv when Matthew Cuthbert died.

I experimented on the girls' hair by making sock buns.  The goal was to have beautifully curly locks in the morning.  It was interesting to see the different results.

They had a wonderful time making memories.

Hands in the Air

A friend's recent miscarriage made me start thinking of the time we lost our first baby.  On a Saturday night, just a day or two after losing the baby I was in such grief.  Matthew was sleeping peacefully next to me.  I remember being angry that he could sleep so well having just lost our child.  I was in torment for hours and finally took myself out to the family room, where I wrestled with God for some time.  I cried and raged and cried some more.  Sometimes the crying would ease up, until a fresh wave of grief hit me and the tears started again.  I was so angry that He would take our first child from us.  As I continued in this state, the song "Hands in the Air" by The Waiting came on our CD player.

When I heard that song, I knew that I had to stop fighting Him.  I had to surrender my will, my dreams and hopes.  I had to die to them.  I had to submit.  Fresh tears began, but these were tears of healing and release, not anger and self-pity.  When the tears stopped, my heart was at peace.  I was able to sleep and have never struggled with anger over that loss again.  Grief, yes.  But not anger.

That was almost fourteen years ago.  The date I lost the baby was around February 11, 1998.  In May of 1998, we became pregnant again with our oldest living daughter.  She will be 13 in one week.  She is such a blessing and joy in my life.  I often wonder if the Lord allowed the first baby, which was not planned, to be conceived to prepare our hearts for parenthood so that Rebecca would be born.  You see, at the time of our first pregnancy, we were using birth control.  Our first pregnancy was an "accident".  But by the time we lost that one, we had become excited about being parents and were eager to be pregnant again.  That is why we got pregnant with Rebecca.

But for whatever reason we lost that baby, I know it taught me an important lesson in submission to the Lord in every circumstance.  Furthermore, as I have grown to know Him better, I have become convinced that He is good and I can trust Him in the midst of every storm.

He Has Done Great Things!

I heard someone say that they are happy to leave 2011 behind.  It's not because it was a bad year for them.  They just felt like they were in a holding pattern, neither going backward or forward.  As I pondered that, I realized that 2011 for me was a monumental, life-changing year!  So I thought I would make a list of the things that happened this year and see how long it gets.

1. I got really tired of wanting to be a godly wife, but not knowing the right way to do it.
2. God brought a wonderful Titus 2 woman into my life to mentor me.
3. I read the book "So Much More" by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin, which completely rocked my world.
4. I began applying the principles I learned from that book and the Word of God to my calling as a wife and mother.
5. As I committed to walking in obedience to the Word of God, I found that bondages to fear and anger that I had struggled against for years were broken.
6. Because of the dramatic change I experienced through simple obedience to the Word, I began to have a love for the Word like I had never known before.
7. I had more and more desire to know what the Bible says and do it.  If simple obedience to the Word of God causes so drastic of a change, I want to apply that word to my life as much as possible!
8. I began to understand who I am in Christ.
9. I continued to read and learn from books like "On the Other Side of the Garden" by Virginia Fugate and "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace.
10. I began to focus more and more on my home as my center of ministry through discipling my children, ministering to my husband and hospitality to others.
11. I started to set my house in order, beginning with a family closet and expanding through the rest of the house.  I still have not finished everything I want to do, but I'm always getting closer to my goals.
12. I began to look at gardening as not only a fun hobby, but also a legitimate way to become more self-sufficient and save money.
13. I began to study home making skills such as bread baking, canning and knitting.
14. I started to view myself as my husband's help meet, instead of him being mine.
15. As I did that, my heart turned toward my husband and I began to love and appreciate him more deeply than I ever had before.
16. I began to find myself blissfully happy throughout the day, as opposed to mostly discontent, which would have been my normal state of mind.
17. I found myself daydreaming about what a wonderful husband I have.  I could actually see that now.  He's always been wonderful, but I was blind to so much of it.
18. With my husband's blessing, I and the daughters of our home began to dress more modestly and femininely.
19. I saw my oldest daughter blossom as she began to learn alongside me what it means to be a godly woman.
20. I got to attend an Above Rubies conference in Lake Tahoe with my daughter, sister and a dear friend.
21. I found a wonderful mentor in Nancy Campbell, founder of Above Rubies, and began to read her materials with great interest.
22. I continue to be challenged to grow in my walk with the Lord and am so excited to allow Him to continue His work in me.

For years, the verse in the Bible that I most related to was Proverbs 14:1.  "A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands."  It was the foolish woman that I most related to.  I wanted to be the wise woman, but I just did not know how.  But God is teaching me how to be the wise woman and I have such hope for the future of my family because I know that we are on the right path.

Oh, and one more thing.  23. I made plans with my dad to start keeping bees.  We got to tour two different hives.  He is building our first two hives next weekend with my kids.  And our bees are on order for April!

God is so good and I give Him all the glory.  He has done great things!

On My Mind

This has been quite a week!  Rebecca and I returned from a fantastic conference in beautiful Lake Tahoe on Sunday afternoon.  On Monday, my dad went into the hospital having had a mini stroke.  He's going to be ok, praise God.  Tuesday, Sarina started throwing up and blessed the rest of our family with illness for the rest of the week!  All but one of us have had this stomach virus to varying degrees.  We tried a couple of interesting things to combat the virus this time.  First, we all started taking activated charcoal to try and nip the sickness in the bud.  You see, activated charcoal adsorbs (not absorbs) all sorts of viruses and toxins.  So if you ingest it, it will bind to the bad things in your gut and take it out.  My hope was if we all started on it right away, the virus wouldn't be able to get established in our systems.  No such luck.  The charcoal may have lessened the symptoms, though.  Most of us only threw up four or five times, and some not at all.  And recovery seemed to be quicker, too.  So it wasn't the miracle cure I was hoping for, but it seemed to help some.

The second really cool thing I did was give enemas to my really sick ones.  I know, it sounds weird.  But I felt it was worth sharing, because it made a big difference.  The logic behind giving an enema is that if the patient cannot hold fluids down, you can introduce fluids into their digestive tract from the other direction.  I just put some electrolyte, honey and charcoal into an enema and then squeezed it into my patient's rectum.  I can't say they were so excited about this treatment.  But I noticed that for those who were very sick it kept them from getting dehydrated.

I also made homemade electrolyte out of 1/3 calcium water (boil a whole egg for 20 minutes in water and the shell will let calcium into the water), 1/3 juice and 1/3 hibiscus tea.  I also added honey to sweeten it.  Then I put in salt to taste and there you go, no yucky artificial sweeteners in my electrolyte!

So that's what's been on my mind.  Nothing too profound, but maybe the info will come in handy for you sometime.  And, hey, when you're surrounded by puking people, your thoughts don't go too deep anyway!  :)

Surprise!!!

I wasn't sure that I would ever write on this blog again.  But reading my friend's blog has inspired me, so I'm going to post.

I have been learning so much about godly womanhood and God's plan for families and it is having a huge impact on my family.  There's way too much for me to write about in this post, but suffice it to say that we are focusing on our home being our center of ministry, not only for our family but also as a way to reach out to those around us.  We're cutting out activities that do not support our family vision and beginning to make our home a center of industry.  Rebecca and I began a foray into canning this last week, with decent results but a lot of room to grow!  At least our strawberry jam is edible, if not a little weird.  We also want to learn to sew.  And I want to improve the gardening situation in our back yard and bring the kids into my gardening projects.

But all this industry takes time, and when we are doing school until 4pm every day (including piano practice) we don't have time for any additional projects.  So we have decided to start doing year-round school.  I never expected to be excited about such a thing.  But I am thrilled at this prospect.  I think that we will have so much more flexibility in our year because we won't be pushing to be finished by a certain date.  When the grandparents want to take the kids camping and it goes over a week day, I won't be worried about their school.  And if they don't get everything done in one day, I will know that we have many more days to work on it without the deadline of the end of the school year looming over us.  It will also keep their minds from turning to mush over the summer, so that's a good thing.  If all goes the way I think it will, we will have academics in the morning, Bible and music practice in the afternoon to be done by 2:30.  Then we'll have our project time from 2:30 till 4:30 or so where we can work on whatever we have going at the time.

The other change I want to share is that we are converting one of our bedrooms into a family closet!!!  In short, all of our clothes, shoes, bedding, etc. will go into one room on hangars, shelves and bins.  Once I have the project done, I'll (hopefully) post pictures of it.  But you can google "family closet" if you want to read more about it.  You can probably imagine what a chore the laundry is around here.  And then there are the bins and bins of off-season clothes and in-between sizes clothes.  Oh my, it's a job.  This should greatly simplify the challenges of getting laundry clean and put away for me, as well as help me to see at a glance what our clothing needs are.  And in the end, it will greatly increase the storage space in the rest of the house.  So a major overhaul is coming at the Stroup home in more ways than one!

Merry Christmas

Oh come let us adore him,
Oh come let us adore him,
Oh come let us adore him,
Christ, the Lord.

What should I do?

Over the past couple of months, it has come to my attention that some stores that I frequent are either directly or indirectly supporting Planned Parenthood.  I was very disappointed to hear about this, since I like one of the stores so much I actually have their store credit card.  But knowing what I know, I could not knowingly support a store that is contributing to the holocaust of our children.  In the past, I was involved in the big Target boycott, which lasted a decade.  It eventually ended in Target removing their support for Planned Parenthood.  So I have seen how a boycott can change the course of a company's decisions.  Therefore, my husband and I have decided to join the boycott of these stores until they change their policy.

Someone recently told me about a pet store chain that had been getting their animals from places that were not humane.  I guess this fact made the news and within something like a week that pet store was out of business because people were so indignant that the pet store would support such an atrocity.  One week!  It took us ten years to get Target to change their policy, but a pet store was put out of business in one week!  Where are our priorities?  Why is it that a child is seen as less important than a dog?  And what are we going to do about it?  Let's wake up!  You might not be able to change everything, or address every injustice.  But do something.  Ask God what he wants you to do and then obey him.

Inspired

For some reason I'm inspired to write a blog post tonight - at 11:30 when I should be in bed.  But I thought I'd better grab the inspiration when it comes.  (Maybe I should drink black tea with lunch more often...)

I have not told the story of Sarina's birth yet, so I'll give that a quick summary.  We were supposed to be induced on June 9th.  But we really didn't feel peace about it.  After praying about it, we decided to go with my doctor's recommendation and proceed with the inducement.  However, we were praying that God would close the doors if it was not his will.  The 9th came and there were no closed doors, so off we went to the hospital.  We checked in, got our room, I got dressed in the gown, IV, everything.  The bag of pitocin was ready to go and the midwife walked in.  First things she asks is how I feel about having the baby today.  So I was upfront with her and told her that I wasn't feeling so sure about it.  After much discussion and some tests on the baby to make sure she wasn't under stress, I walked out of the hospital still pregnant!  I never would have thought that I would be happy to leave the hospital one week past my due date and pregnant.  But I felt so much peace that it didn't matter that I was physically uncomfortable.  I glorify the Lord that he was able to close the doors for us so late in the game.  He sent us just the right person to enable us to follow his plan.

We went back to the hospital the following Friday, the 11th.  I can't tell you how differently I felt driving there.  On Wednesday I had been feeling dread, fear, worry, but this day I felt excitement and anticipation - all of the things I should feel when I'm about to meet my baby.  The inducement on Friday went off without a hitch.  Pitocin started at 7am.  Although the contractions were progressing, it was nothing big until my water broke at 9:20.  Then everything took off like a rocket.  Sarina was born at 9:55 am.  So that was almost three hours from start to finish.  Not bad.

Now she's four months old, rolling all over the place, smiling, laughing and delighting us all.

Our school year is going great!  Every year seems to bring new improvements over the last one and this year is no exception.  I am learning better time management skills, as well as learning to accept that even if I don't get everything done in a day that I would like to, God knows what I need to do and everything else can wait.  The older two kids are learning how to manage their time better, too.  And we're all learning how to work together to keep our home a nice, clean place to live.

One more bit of news before I go.  We just found out that there is another home school family living in our neighborhood with a large family like us.  I actually had met them before, because they own a used curriculum book store that I shop at.  But last Monday, Rebecca came rushing in exclaiming that the people who own the book store lived just down the street.  So we literally dropped everything, piled the babies in the stroller and went to introduce ourselves.  We all had a blast and the kids went back over today to play again.  Matthew and I had just been talking last week about how our kids don't have other kids in our neighborhood to play with.  I remember at the time of that conversation submitting my heart to the Lord's plan for our children and reminding myself that he knows what they need.  So the timing of meeting this family was so sweet to me because the Lord was answering the cry of my heart.

God is so good.  He fills my life with so much joy.  I love living for him.

Final Decision About School

I just found out today that the John Adams Academy will not be able to receive all the funding they need to start up this year until October.  So they have decided to wait until next year when they can get the funds earlier and use them for their start-up costs.  That means we get another year to home school!  I have been having a hard time with the thought of not having the kids home.  I would miss them so much during the day.  I know that I would adjust.  And if it's what God has for them, he has a different plan for me, too.  But I'm really happy to know that I get to keep them home for another year.

Treasure in Heaven

Tonight our oldest daughter was baptized.  It was a very special event that I was greatly looking forward to.  She has been ready to make a public commitment to the Lord for some time now.  But what made this event even more special was the fact that Matthew got to baptize her.  I didn't find out that he was going to do it until right before the baptism.  So I pretty much cried non-stop from the moment I found out until after she was baptized.  Our kids are such a blessing to us.  And our greatest desire for each of them is that they would have a personal relationship with the Lord and follow him with their whole hearts all of their lives.  They really are the treasures we are storing up in heaven.

I did manage to see through the tears to get a few pictures.  :)

I did it!

I just managed to add a button to my blog from a source that was incorrect! But with a little research and using someone else's html code with my changes made, I fixed the problem and now I have a beautiful "Drawn from Water" button on my blog!

Drawn from Water is very near and dear to my heart. It is an orphanage in Africa that rescues "Mingi" children who are marked to die because of tribal superstition. Our church started this orphanage to rescue the children and find adoptive homes for these kids who would not have survived otherwise. The picture you see is of the first child rescued, who has now been legally adopted by a wonderful family in our church. They are heading to Africa in a few weeks to meet her and bring her home. Please take a minute to read the blog. I'm pretty sure that this is one of God's favorite ministries on earth right now. ;)

And Now About School

This should be a shorter blog. We're applying to send our kids to a charter school called "The John Adams Academy." It's a school that's being started by a previous home school family who has the vision to raise up "servant leaders" in the next generation. They use a classical approach to education with an emphasis on teaching critical thinking. We have never found an opportunity for the kids better than home schooling. But this could be one. I never planned on stopping home school. I love schooling the kids, even after the hard days. I love having them home and would miss them if they were gone for the day. But this school could offer them some learning opportunities that I can't give them here. And in addition, the morals they will be taught there are in line with the morals we are teaching them here. So the school will actually be reinforcing the character training we work on at home. At this point, they have 500 plus applicants with only 400 spots open. So they are going to be doing a lottery for the spots in the school. We'll see what happens. But this could really change the way life goes around here!