Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Blessing in Obedience

Someone asked me recently if I believed that the Holy Spirit could tell a couple when they are done having children, thus allowing them to cut off their fertility.  I didn't have a solid answer at the time.  But it prompted me to do some serious thinking about the subject.  For us, my husband and I believe in leaving that decision up to the Lord.  And I can name blessing after blessing in our own lives for having made that decision.  But what about the church in general?  I know people who have ended their fertility for seemingly very godly reasons.  One couple had four children already and loved having children.  But they wanted to open their home and hearts to adopting and felt lead to limit their biological children so that they could do that.  I have heard of families only having a couple of children so that they could be more free to minister in the church.  Then there are the women on whom pregnancy is very hard and those to whom pregnancy can be very dangerous.

After mulling this over for several weeks and not coming to a definitive conclusion in my own mind, I decided to do something intelligent.  I asked my husband his opinion.  And, as it typical for him, his answer was solid.  So after chewing on his answer for a couple more weeks, I thought I would share it here.

There is no commandment that says we may not end our fertility,  nothing we can point to that says, "If you end your fertility, you are sinning."  In other words, it's not in the Ten Commandments.  But if we look at Biblical principle, there is a very strong argument for having an open womb.  The first command ever given in the Bible is to "be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and subdue it."  That phrase "fill the earth" literally means to fill to overflowing, an overabundance.  So it's not a stretch to see that God has designed us to be very fruitful.  This command was given before sin had entered the world.  So this was God's plan in his perfect creation.  Since God is the same yesterday, today and forever, why would He change His plan just because we're in the 21st century?  His principles stand throughout time.  So if He has told us to fill the earth to overflowing, who are we to decide what is enough?

Infertility in the Bible is seen as a curse.  In Leviticus 20, childlessness is the punishment for incest.  Similarly, Michal, David's wife, had no children because she mocked David for dancing before the Ark of the Lord.  (2 Sam. 6:23)  Look at Genesis 20:18 and Hosea 9:11 for further examples of this.  If barrenness is a curse, why would someone want to bring that curse upon themselves?

Conversely, having children is seen as a blessing. Psalm 127 is very famous for speaking of children as a blessing.  Fertility is part of the blessing of obedience in Deuteronomy 7:14 and Exodus 23:26.  Part of the blessing given to Abraham and his descendants is many offspring.  (Genesis 22:17, 26:24, 28:3)

Also, the Lord is given full credit for the creation of life and the opening of the womb.  He is the one who enabled Rachel to have children. (Genesis 30:22) He also allowed Leah to have children because she was unloved in her marriage. (Genesis 29:31)   Isaac prayed for his wife, Rebekah, to have children and after that she became pregnant.  The Bible says, "The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant." (Gen 25:21)  If the Lord is the one who opens and closes the womb, then shouldn't we leave it up to Him?  Doesn't He know what we need so much better than we do?

There is much more that the Bible has to say about this, but it would fill a book.  So if you would like to read more, I highly recommend Nancy Campbell's "Be Fruitful and Multiply".  I was also blessed by "A Mom Just Like You" by Vicki Farris.  Although this book was not written around this subject, she does share her personal journey from using birth control to leaving it to the Lord.  There is also much more in her book that will be encouraging for mothers.

I used to be someone who thought those open womb people were crazy.  I found my children to be burdensome much of the time and I often felt trapped and unsatisfied in my role as a mother.  Only as I have learned to embrace God's vision for women and mothers have I entered into a season of unparalleled joy.  Through this experience, I have come to love obeying the Word of the Lord, whether or not I understand why.  I am now in pursuit of understanding everything His Word says about me, so that my life can be in line with the Lord in every way possible.  As I do this, the blessings keep increasing and increasing.  My home is becoming more and more righteous.  My children are happier, my marriage is unbelievably blessed and I am filled with joy and peace.  God's ways go against our human understanding.  They just don't make sense most of the time!  But when we obey, we can be sure that we will be blessed!


These are my "unplanned" blessings.  When I think that I could have prevented them from existing, my heart is grieved.  They bring our family so much joy.

5 comments:

maria said...

I'm glad that you shared this. it's wonderful that you've experienced blessing in this aspect of life. I'll admit to being one of those people who thinks that people who have more than 3 or 4 kids must be a little crazy, but I have an honest desire to figure out the perspective of bigger families. As a working mother of two (whose husband does not want more children) I feel it would be irresponsible to have more children. I am, unfortunately, the primary breadwinner in our family and, practically speaking, we could not financially afford more children and I feel like having another child would take away from what little precious time I get with my kids.

I have not heard God speak to me specifically about having more kids or not. We use a barrier method of birth control, but my husband is planning to get his tubes tied when we can afford it, and this makes me just the tiniest bit sad just in case God would want to bless us with another. But considering our circumstances (financially, relationally), I feel better about preventing pregnancy.

That said, do you have any insight on lessening the sometimes painful and judgmental divide between moms or big families and moms of only one or two (of stay-at-home moms and work-outside the home moms)?

Chelsea said...

Love you Christal and the honest way you've laid out things here. I'll be sharing this entry with some other people.

Unknown said...

Hi Maria,

It is so easy for us to judge each other, isn't it? I think the key to not being affected by this is to live your life before the Lord only. Don't live in the fear of man. I struggle with this myself. But I find it much easier to overcome if I evaluate my life by the Word of God. Is my life in line with His Word? If so, then the attacks of others don't bother me so much.

In your case, it sounds like your husband does not desire more children. You can submit to him in this knowing that you are submitting to the Lord. Your husband also wants or needs your help in supporting the family. Your first calling is to be your husband's help meet. By working, you are doing this. You are honoring the Lord by submitting to your husband, so rest in that. And if you have any concerns, the first step is praying about it and waiting on the Lord. I hope that helps a little!

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

"I have come to love obeying the Word of the Lord, whether or not I understand why." This spoke to me. I want my heart to be like this. Thank you for sharing Christal. Miss you!