Saturday, April 20, 2013

Compelled Pt. 3

This story does not have a happy ending. There are no winners here. Of all the characters in this tragedy, the baby is the most fortunate. That baby is with Jesus. The mother is the one who lost the most. She is somewhere right now, knowing what she did. How is she feeling? Can she sleep at night, or is she tormented, knowing what she did? Is she relieved that now she doesn't have to tell her dad? Does she feel empty, emotionless? Will she go to her grave with this secret never revealed and healed? Will this abortion be a catalyst to lead her to salvation? What about the father? Does he realize what he has done? Does he know that he has lost something precious? There are so many things I will never know this side of eternity.
The whole experience that day was gut wrenching. As I processed through what had happened, I found myself wondering how people have stayed at the front line of this battle for so many years. I know intercessors out there who have been praying at this clinic for a very long time, decades even. How do they go through this torture again and again? How can I go through this again? But as I think these thoughts, I know I will go back. I will stand at 1750 Wright Street again, because of hope. Maybe someday, a baby's life will be saved, a mother will avoid the guilt of murder, a father will know his child and a grandfather his grandchild because I stand out there. Most importantly, I know I will stand there because it makes me pray. I know I can pray at home. But nothing makes abortion more real to me than standing right there, watching women with empty eyes go into the clinic and knowing that in that building children are being murdered. I will go back.

I am honored to stand with several very faithful warriors in this battle. But I ask you to join the battle. Your presence at this clinic or one in your area is so important. Often, just seeing people out there will change a mother's mind. One day, I heard a young man, there with his girlfriend, exclaim, "I just can't do it! Look at all these people!" Sadly, that couple also lost their baby. You are needed. You are so needed. For every baby we see rescued, I would guess that roughly 40 are lost, just at this clinic. But that is one life. What is holding you back? We are all called to this battle. What is your part in it, to pray at a clinic, to give support to a pregnancy resource center, to talk your friend out of killing her baby? What is God calling you to do? How are you compelled?

Compelled Pt. 2

My encounter with the couple seeking abortion happened about 9:45 am. The abortionist was not at the clinic yet. She would not arrive until 10:30. So I knew there was still a window of opportunity for the young woman to change her mind. All the intercessors outside the clinic began to pray for her. We often see women arrive for abortions. But we don't always have such a window into why they would make this choice. This one became much more personal. I prayed and prayed, begging the Lord to change her heart, knowing that she had hardened herself for this, asking for her heart to be softened. I knew it was not too late for her to change her mind.  I watched as the abortionist pulled into the clinic. I didn't see the young woman leave.

My heart was breaking as I thought of the different levels of injustice happening right before me. Obviously, there was the injustice to the baby, who was being punished for existing. There there was the young mother, who was going to have to live with pain and regret about her decision this day. There is a father, who will never know his child, complicit in his child's death. Was he grieving for this child he will never know? Was he just relieved for a "quick fix" that will let him get away with this without getting caught? There was a grandfather, who didn't even know his grandchild existed and who had seemingly done something that would make his daughter afraid to even tell him about this child. My thoughts went on, thinking about how this mother had chosen to kill her child rather than face her father. She took the coward's way out, choosing to protect herself rather than her baby. Although in the end, she hurt herself as well. I thought of the wife, husband and parent this baby may have become one day. A whole generation gone because no one wanted to take responsibility. So a baby was murdered.

My thoughts came unbidden that I could have, should have, said something more. I could have asked how far along she is. I could have identified with her as a fellow expectant mother. I wished I had been holding the fetal model set. Perhaps if she had seen what her baby looked like right then, she could not have gone through with it. My heart broke as I faced my own incompetence and failure. As illogical as it was, I felt that I had failed this child and this mother.

I know there is likely nothing I could have said to change her mind. She was raised in a culture that glorifies promiscuity and offers abortion as an easy way to get out of trouble, to get rid of an inconvenience. It's a lie that too many believe until it is too late. There is no going back.

Part 3 is coming later today.

Compelled Pt. 1

I had decided to let this blog go. I have found I'm not a great blogger. I think I would rather live life than write about it! I've always been that way. The experience is way more fun than reflecting on it. But there are times I am compelled to write. When that happens, I realize that this blog may not be dead after all. Perhaps someone will stumble upon a post here and it will help them. I hope this post will help someone.

This week, the kids and I were praying and handing out material outside the abortion clinic where we go about twice a month. One couple stopped to take some brochures. I stepped up to their car and began with my standard speech.

"This is an abortion clinic. If you know someone who is pregnant, here is a list of resources where women can go for help so that they don't have to get an abortion. Also, it lists a ministry called Rachael's Vineyard that offers post abortion healing."

As I was speaking, my eyes fell to the phone in her lap. I saw that her GPS had directed her to the clinic, that she was going in. I asked, "Are you pregnant?" "Yes," was her reply. "Are you here for an abortion?" She nodded. My heart sank. "You don't have to do this. You will regret it for the rest of your life. May I ask why you feel like you need to get an abortion?"

"My dad."

"Does he know you are pregnant?"

"No."

"What will he do if he finds out?"

"I just know my dad. It won't be good if he finds out."

"You don't want to do this. You will regret it for the rest of your life."

"I've already decided. I've thought a lot about it and I've already decided."

"You have a new life inside you. You both (indicating her and her boyfriend) are responsible for this life you have created. This is your baby. You don't have to do this. Facing your father's wrath is nothing compared to the regret you will experience for the rest of your life. Adoption is always an option."

"I've already made up my mind."

At this point, I felt there was nothing more I could say, so I asked if I could pray for her before she went into the clinic. She got very uncomfortable at that and pointed out that we were blocking the street. I offered to move out of the way and as I stepped toward the curb, she shook her head no at me and they pulled into the clinic. I called after her, "I will be praying for you to change your mind!" That was the last I saw of her.

Part 2 will follow this afternoon.