Saturday, May 30, 2009

Meant to Be

This is a beautiful song written by a man whose mom chose to give him up for adoption rather than abort him. It's worth listening to.

http://www.shouldhavebeenaborted.com/MEANT_TO_BE.html

Christal

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Weeping

Tonight I found myself cooking dinner and weeping, so full of emotion after this day. I had just gotten off the phone with my brother-in-law. He and my sister are currently in Louisiana adopting a beautiful little girl, Alana Michelle. As with all adoptions, this one is bittersweet. Alana's mother did not give her up because she was unwanted. She gave her up in order to give her a better life. And so, Paul and Michelle are experiencing the joy of welcoming a precious child into their home, while at the same time, Alana's birth mom experiences empty arms, loving her daughter beyond her own life.

On this very same day that Paul and Michelle welcome Alana in, my dear friends who got a new son last week had to say good-bye to him. Again, it's bittersweet. The birth mom in this case realized the she could not live with giving him up. And as a result, he will be able to grow up knowing his mother, grandparents, siblings. This is a wonderful thing! But it's also a heart break for my friends, who love this baby as their own son.

As I have pondered these things, I have again marveled at how God is able to make beauty from the mess we make of life. Yes, there is sorrow and pain, but those things never come without joy and gladness. He truly takes our sorrow and mourning and turns them into dancing and joy, no matter what the circumstance. He is bigger and he is faithful. And he has greater plans than we can even imagine!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

In the Middle of Something Great

You know how you go through life moment by moment, day by day but don't really see the whole picture? Then, God breaks in and something happens that makes you step back and say, "Wow, I'm totally in the middle of an amazing plan of God!" That's how tonight felt to me. I got to be part of a life-changing God moment.

Tonight I got to meet a newborn baby boy. The amazing thing about this little boy, born on May 19th, my birthday, is that he is an orphan. He was born at 10:11 in the morning, eleven minutes after his birth mother walked into the hospital. But her life does not allow her to keep him, so she surrendered him to the hospital immediately. And because of God's goodness, the social worker who was involved in this case has also worked with my good friend who already has two adopted children. So the social worker called my friend to find out if she and her husband would like to take this baby. Within two hours, they were on the road to the hospital, which happens to be here in my town, to meet their new son. And so, just like that they have a baby.

As soon as I heard the news, I was on my way to meet this new little guy. He is just perfect. He actually looks like his adopted sister. Really, it's unbelievable how much alike they look. He has these hugely long feet and big hands. So I think he's going to be a pretty tall guy. And his fuzzy hair is dark, but we'll see what it ends up being.

While I was there I got to hear some of his history. Even though the circumstances surrounding his conception were not good, his birth mom made sure that she took good care of herself while she was pregnant. She didn't smoke or drink or anything like that. So she really cared for him. And she did all that knowing that she was not going to raise this child. She had the choice to abort this unwanted child, but she gave him the gift of his life. And that's amazing. She's an amazing woman, even if she doesn't know it. I am so grateful that she loved him enough to do this.

God really has rescued this little boy. He rescued him in his womb from a premature death. And he even rescued him from going into the foster care system by giving him a godly home right from the start. I'm amazed that this baby is less than one day old and abandoned. But he already has a permanent family. I mean, it's not like his birth mom read through the profiles of many prospective parents and chose the one that she thought would be best for her baby. This baby could have very easily ended up in the foster care system. But God plucked him right up and placed him into a wonderful family where he will be raised in the love of the Lord. Tonight, I truly got to experience a miracle. God is so able to do whatever he sees fit to do. All our plans and systems are nothing to him. He is so worthy of our praise and adoration.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I Love This!

I'll be the first to admit that I have not found becoming a parent easy. I'm a bit of a hard head. So God really has to work on me. I have often found myself wondering why I'm not enjoying the parenting process more. Rebellious attitudes and disobedience really tend to get to me. And I don't tend to be the most patient person in the world. Nor do I have the most perseverance. So, although I have been quite committed to parenting and parenting well, I have not always found pleasure in it. But this past weekend it seems like something shifted. It wasn't huge. In fact, Saturday was particularly difficult. I had two children who just wouldn't obey no matter what. And then one of them tried to shift the blame for what they did to another. And that really gets my goat when that happens! It's one thing to sin. But to sin and then pass the blame off onto someone else??? Grrr!!! But I remember a moment, sitting on the floor of our bonus room, trying to reason with this child who was determined to see it only their way. I looked at Matthew for help, desperate to get through to this one. And in the middle of all that, I thought, "I love this!" And I really meant it!

I can't tell you how many times I have gone to the Lord with something like, "What are you asking of me?!?! How on earth can I foster when I have such a hard time with my own kids?" I have woken up in the morning with a sense of dread about the responsibilities and issues that the new day holds. I have found parenting to be a burden to me in many ways, even as I have known that it's my calling and passion. But recently I went to the Lord and said, "Ok, you said that your yoke is easy and your burden is light. I know this doesn't mean life is easy. But you carry the burden for us. I know I'm carrying things I shouldn't. Please help me." I think God is answering that prayer. I think he is changing me and giving me what I need to do what he has called me to do. This is what he has promised to do in his word. And he is always faithful to keep his promises.

Psalm 127:1,2
Unless the LORD builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the LORD guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain.
[It is] vain for you to rise up early,
To sit up late,
To eat the bread of sorrows;
[For] so He gives His beloved sleep.

This is God's heart for us as parents. So often we take on so much of the burden for how our kids turn out, or even how they act now! But, really, raising a family is God's process. He does not want us to lose sleep and be troubled about our kids. He wants to build our houses and he wants to give us his peace. And even in our weaknesses and humanity, he will make sure that we are in just the right place spiritually, emotionally, physically, for whatever he has called us to.

Home Study Almost Finished

I'm starting to get excited here. Daryl came out today with our "completed" home study for us to review. Now that we have approved it, he is taking to to his editors. While they have it, he will be putting our profile together with our picture and basic info. Then, when he gets that done and the home study comes back, we will become certified!!! Our profile will go into the system and we'll be ready to accept kids into our home.

In our home study, we are stating that we are specifically looking for one to two girls ages 0-5. I asked Daryl about the age, because in my mind I was thinking more like 6 and under. But he really doesn't want to disrupt the birth order for even our six year old. I thought that was interesting. And once again, I am so grateful that the people at Koinonia are just as, if not more, concerned about making sure that our family comes through this process intact as they are about finding good homes for foster kids. I really appreciate their commitment to whole families.

I think I mentioned this before, but if I haven't, I'll take the time to explain it a little more. There are two ways to work within the foster care system when you want to adopt. One is called concurrent placement and the other I can't remember the term for. But it is adopting kids whose parents have already lost their rights to them. So they are "adoptable". Concurrent placement, on the other hand, means that the kids are still in the process of either being restored to their parents, or having parental rights terminated. So we could get someone into our home, but then mom and dad get their act together and the kids go back home. We had a choice of whether or not we wanted to do concurrent placement, or only look at kids who are adoptable. We chose to be open to concurrent placement, because we don't know exactly how God wants to use us in this process. And if he wants us to minister to some kids for a short time and then send them back home, we want to be available. So, that being said, there is a good possibility that we will get one or two kids who may or may not become a permanent part of our family.

In a couple weeks we are going to attend a picnic with social workers from the area and also kids that are currently adoptable. There are two reasons for us to go to this. The first is obvious. We will have an opportunity to meet some kids so that if any stand out to us we can pursue the possibility of adopting them. The second is so that the local social workers get a chance to meet us and get to know us a little. So it advertises us a little. Regarding the first reason for going, Matthew said that the only problem about going and seeing all these kids is that he'll want to say, "We'll take them all!" I love his heart.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Inching Closer

We're ever so slowly getting closer to being certified. We have officially finished our interview process now. Darryl has to finish writing our profile, which is about 15 pages long. Then we will review it together. After that, it goes through an editing process before it's complete. But that's really all that is needed to finish!