Home Study Almost Finished

I'm starting to get excited here. Daryl came out today with our "completed" home study for us to review. Now that we have approved it, he is taking to to his editors. While they have it, he will be putting our profile together with our picture and basic info. Then, when he gets that done and the home study comes back, we will become certified!!! Our profile will go into the system and we'll be ready to accept kids into our home.

In our home study, we are stating that we are specifically looking for one to two girls ages 0-5. I asked Daryl about the age, because in my mind I was thinking more like 6 and under. But he really doesn't want to disrupt the birth order for even our six year old. I thought that was interesting. And once again, I am so grateful that the people at Koinonia are just as, if not more, concerned about making sure that our family comes through this process intact as they are about finding good homes for foster kids. I really appreciate their commitment to whole families.

I think I mentioned this before, but if I haven't, I'll take the time to explain it a little more. There are two ways to work within the foster care system when you want to adopt. One is called concurrent placement and the other I can't remember the term for. But it is adopting kids whose parents have already lost their rights to them. So they are "adoptable". Concurrent placement, on the other hand, means that the kids are still in the process of either being restored to their parents, or having parental rights terminated. So we could get someone into our home, but then mom and dad get their act together and the kids go back home. We had a choice of whether or not we wanted to do concurrent placement, or only look at kids who are adoptable. We chose to be open to concurrent placement, because we don't know exactly how God wants to use us in this process. And if he wants us to minister to some kids for a short time and then send them back home, we want to be available. So, that being said, there is a good possibility that we will get one or two kids who may or may not become a permanent part of our family.

In a couple weeks we are going to attend a picnic with social workers from the area and also kids that are currently adoptable. There are two reasons for us to go to this. The first is obvious. We will have an opportunity to meet some kids so that if any stand out to us we can pursue the possibility of adopting them. The second is so that the local social workers get a chance to meet us and get to know us a little. So it advertises us a little. Regarding the first reason for going, Matthew said that the only problem about going and seeing all these kids is that he'll want to say, "We'll take them all!" I love his heart.

Inching Closer

We're ever so slowly getting closer to being certified. We have officially finished our interview process now. Darryl has to finish writing our profile, which is about 15 pages long. Then we will review it together. After that, it goes through an editing process before it's complete. But that's really all that is needed to finish!

Drawn From Water

For a quick update - we expect to have one more interview with Darryl. Then he just needs to finish up our profile and we'll be certified!

This post, however, is to draw awareness to a new orphanage in Ethiopia. This orphanage is dedicated to saving the lives of children who have been marked to die for various reasons. You can learn more by going to www.drawnfromwater.org. Please take a moment to watch this video and pray about whether God would have you help in this effort.

Muddy Waters

This week we have started our interview process with our social worker, Darryl. It has been interesting as he has probed into many areas of our life. We knew it was going to be pretty invasive. And we both are comfortable with being transparent. Being members of the Rock has really prepared us for that! But imagine revisiting every major issue you've faced, starting with your childhood and continuing into your marriage. That's what this week has been. It's been quite an emotional ride. I didn't realize how many issues I had! Last night, I was thinking that I felt like a pool of water that was nice and clear. But at the bottom was all this dirt that had settled over time. Then, Darryl came and stirred up the dirt and made my water all muddy. Not too fun. But I'm very grateful to be talking through these things now, because Darryl is pointing out how it could affect us with foster kids. And how these kids have learned to play adults and could try to use our issues against us.

We also have discussed what we are hoping for in the kids we are bringing in. One major concern I have had is if I would have the ability to home school them. We have heard that it's pretty much not allowed. So I was very encouraged that, as long as the foster kids' social worker is ok with it, we will be allowed to home school them. Darryl said that some social workers recognize the benefits of home school and others don't. But that will just be a determining factor on whether or not we can accept certain kids. As we've been going through this process, my heart has always leaned very strongly toward elementary aged kids. But I didn't see how I could do both a home school schedule and a public school one at the same time. So I was very happy to hear that I may not have to do that.

We also discussed the race of the children we will be getting. Most of the kids that Koinonia gets are either black or Hispanic. As we talked, we realized that we already have a good network of Hispanic people around us. We have an amazing Christian family across the street from us who are biracial. The mom is full blood Mexican and the dad is American. They speak both languages in the home as well. So the kids are bilingual. They could be a great resource for us as we endeavor to help our new kids feel comfortable. We also know some great Hispanic families at church, which will help. So, it's looking like we might be recommended for Hispanic kids over black ones.

We're meeting with Darryl again tomorrow. I'm hoping that we can get done with my portion of it, and possibly Matthew's. Darryl said that this process takes anywhere from 60-90 days. He has to take what we've talked about and write it up into a 15 page document, which will be available to social workers who are considering us for one of their kids. So, it takes some time for him to write and edit it, then let us proof read it and make any changes, etc. Using that guideline, it looks like it will be end of April to mid-May before we are finally ready to foster. However, that could be helpful because it would be nice for school to be out before the kids come to us. Then we can use the summer to get to know them and they us and integrate together before the demanding schedule of school time starts up again. Of course, this is all supposition. God alone knows what's really going to happen!

Moving Forward

We sold Matthew's old car today. It was pretty cool. I posted the ad on craigslist at 10am and the car was sold by noon. I guess that's what happens when you sell a car for $250! :) The great thing was that the family that bought it had their car stolen a couple of weeks ago. This family of six has been using the bus and walking. Can you imagine taking a grocery trip for six people and then trying to walk home with it all? Anyway, they were really excited about having a car again, even it the power windows, door locks and mirrors don't work, it leaks oil and power steering fluid over time, the engine smells funny and is not at all pretty. I hope it lasts them until they are able to buy a better car in the future. I was glad that it went to a family in need instead of someone who just wanted to part it out. We have been so blessed with the purchase of the Tank that it's nice to turn around and bless someone else. At least, I hope our old car is a blessing!

I also discovered that I had gotten a call from our social worker yesterday! His name is Darryl. We have met him at a couple of different classes and he seems like a really nice man. His story is interesting because he was adopted as a child in a closed adoption. Over the years he has searched for his birth family. He found his mom, but is having a hard time locating his dad. But since he is adopted, he has a unique perspective on fostering and adopting. He also is a huge advocate of open adoptions, because his path has been so difficult since the records are sealed. I'm hoping that we will be able to schedule our first meeting for next week.

Speaking of closed and open adoptions, we came into this with the metality of doing a closed adoption. But as we have learned more, we have discovered that an open adoption does not mean that the birth family will have full access to us. As far as I understand, we determine how much exposure, if any, that we want to have with the birth family. During the fostering phase, of course, there will be visitation, which will be decided on and coordinated by the social worker. And that will most likely happen in a more neutral location. But after adoption, we will decide how much contact to have with the birth family. It might be something like monthly visits. Or it could just be birthday and Christmas cards. Or it could be absolutely no contact if the situation warrants it. However, the open records will allow our children to know who their parents are and find them if they so desire as they get older. I'm not sure if closed adoptions even happen now a days because the benifits of open adoptions are so accepted.

The Tank

My kids have been asking every day this week, "Have we gotten the tax return yet?" So today I was very happy to announce to them this morning that we got the return and were ready to buy the van. It's been like waiting to go to Disneyland around here this past week. So, we rounded up and headed out to Danny's house.

While we were at Danny's house, we got a chance to know him and his family a little bit better. He told us some about what it was like growing up in Romania and how he came to America. We talked about big families and God's faithfulness. I think we could have talked all day, if we had the time. They just have the same heart as we do. And if we don't have enough in common, we also found out that he works at the grocery store right down the street from us! I have probably walked right past him a dozen times without knowing it. How amazing is that?! This van has really been so much more than a business transaction for us. It's been the beginning of a relationship.

So, we're ready. The final step to complete our certification is the interviews. I'm hoping to hear from our social worker at Koinonia soon. I'm hoping to find out who our social worker will be! But we have done everything that we can on our end of the deal. Now the adventure is really beginning!

A Little Update

So, a week ago we found the van we wanted to buy were planning on financing it that Thursday. Danny, the gentleman who is selling it to us, was going to be at the snow on Tuesday and Wednesday. So we weren't going to be able to finalize the deal until Thursday. On Wednesday, Matthew found out that he is getting a 5% pay cut because of the current economy. Because of that, we decided that instead of getting a loan on the van and using our tax return to pay off a home improvement loan that we have, we would to use the tax return to buy the van outright. Now, you may be asking, "Why is she boring me with all these financial details?" It's because of God's amazing timing! If Danny had not gone to the snow, we would have gotten the loan on Tuesday. Actually, we would have gotten it on Monday if it hadn't been President's Day. But because of both President's Day and the snow day, we were forced to wait until Thursday, which allowed us to find out about the pay cut and change our plans. God is so good!

In addition, Danny is willing to hold the van for us and wait until we get the tax return. And, I just found out that his wife felt the Lord lay on her heart to make sure that the van has a full tank of gas when we come get it! They are just as excited to be part of the blessing as we are to receive it.

God's leading in this process has been nothing short of miraculous. You know, Danny was the very first person that I ever called from craigslist. It's unbelievable. This whole thing is unbelievable.